A Dark Moon descends
by TashiK
Summary: Edward has left Bella but what is he thinking during the darkest periods in both their lives. Here is my take on New moon from Edward's point of view. I have added a few twists of my own :
1. Chapter 1

**A dark moon descends**

I kissed her on the forehead but I didn't linger as I was dangerously close to losing my grip on the little ounce of control that I had left in me. I had fought for control of my thirst for just over 88 years and even that was easier than this moment. I was tearing myself in half by leaving her, the reason for my existence. The only thing that helped me keep a grip on myself was the thought that I knew this was the best way for Bella to live. I would endure the pain that ripped through me now, I could live with it. The one thing I couldn't live through was if Bella didn't exist in this world. I would not endanger her life anymore. Bella would lead a safe, normal life without me in it.

"Edward, please don't do this." Her soft voice whispered

The agony of her plea ripped through me. I so desperately wanted to take her in my arms and tell her that I would stay forever. I buried those feelings deep within me where they belonged.

"Bella promise me that you will keep your self safe, for Charlie's sake. He needs you. I promise you that you won't have to see me again. It will be as if I never existed in your world."

I moved away from her, not even daring to take one last glance at her beautiful face. It had been the worst moment of my life seeing her face crumpled in pain. I truly believed though that time would heal her wounds. I wanted her to move on and lead the life that she deserved. If I allowed myself the luxury of staring into her warm, brown eyes again, I would not find the strength to walk away from her. Her warmth had changed my world from an empty, sunless hole into a place where anything was possible. My life had become a beautiful place that was suddenly filled, with love and happiness that I had ever felt before, because of her. Now though I couldn't allow that to let the selfish part of me succeed.

I moved so fast that she wouldn't have a hope of following me. I heard her footsteps as she walked in the direction she thought I had gone, I ignored them. There was no point now; I had made her believe that I didn't want her. It had been torture to have her believe me so quickly, after all the moments we had shared. It was better though as it would help the wounds heal faster. There was only one thing that was more important than my own life and that was her. I would do anything in my power to keep her life intact. Even if the rest of my days were empty and meaningless without her, I would live through it because I loved her enough to let her go. I climbed through her bedroom window for the last time. Suddenly the memory of the first time that I had climbed through this window overcame me. How, like an angel she had looked like to me and then the overwhelming feelings when she had called out my name. I had never felt a love so powerful in all my existence. I brushed the memory away. I had to concentrate on what I was here to do. I would keep the promise that I had made to her in the woods. She would not be reminded of me. I would take the gifts that we had given her and the mementos of our time together. I hoped that it would help make it easier for her, less painful. I opened her photo album and I took out the photos that she had taken of me. I put the album back gently where she had left it and moved to her cd player. The disc that I had made especially for her was still there where we had left it after the disastrous birthday party. I pressed play and listened to the lullaby that I had composed with her as the inspiration. The soft melody filled my ears and I closed my eyes. I was giving up the love of my life because I couldn't bear to see anything happen to her because of me. I lay across her bed and let the music fill my mind. I inhaled deeply taking in her scent for the last time. Her scent would be with me always. I never wanted to forget. It was like razor blades moving up and down my throat. I ignored the thirst easily. Her face was like a tattoo that had been permanently inked on my heart. If I had a heart, it would beat only for her for the rest of my life. Even now she was still the centre of my world. Once the song finished, I took the cd out. I found the airline ticket that Esme had given to Bella and then I was sure that I had everything that would remind her of me. I planned to destroy it but I couldn't bring myself to. In the end the selfish part of me wanted to leave a piece of me behind. I loosened one of the floorboards and placed the mementos in the gap. Before I closed the floorboard again I wrote a note. I felt a compulsion to write a last letter to Bella, even though I knew she wouldn't ever find it.

_Bella my love,_

_Today I have left my heart with you. I know that I have broken my promise of staying with you forever. I did it because I want you to be free from the shadows that I have bought into your world. You deserve so much better than me. I want you to go and have a happy life away from me and my family; it is what's best for you. I just don't feel it's healthy for you to hang around vampires. Although I am walking out of your life, my heart will always will belong to you. I will love you always with everything that I have. I could never truly leave you my Bella. You have altered me so that I will never be the same again. I will never forgive myself for all the damage I have caused. I am hoping that with time, things will be set right for you again, the way they should be. I am so sorry Bella, more than you can imagine. _

_I love your forever _

_Edward_

I placed the note with the other mementos and closed the floorboard. No one would ever notice that the board had been loosened. At least I knew a small part of me would always be with Bella. I wrote another quick note to make sure that Charlie knew where Bella was, and then I left without my love, my life. As I closed the window for the last time, the world outside felt strange and dull without her by my side


	2. Chapter 2

Chap 2

I arrived home and was not surprised to see Alice almost bouncing up and down on the porch waiting for me. She stared at me with pleading eyes. I had known that she

_**Edward, don't do this! You are being ridiculous. I have shown you what is going to happen. Bella won't be better off without us.**_

"Alice I don't want to hear it. This is the only way. Stop looking for her future. We have caused enough chaos in her life." I tried to push past her but she blocked my path

"Alice, move out my way please. I don't want to hurt you."

_**You won't hurt me Edward. You are so melodramatic!**_

I wanted to stick my tongue out at her like a little kid to vent my frustration but I controlled my reaction. I was not going to let her get under my skin like she usually did. Her unashamed smugness with knowing the future, which could be helpful most of the time, annoyed me today.

I started walking in the opposite direction. I wanted to get away from Alice. She was really annoying me and I was dangerously close to losing it. I heard her rhythmic footsteps follow me into the forest.

"Go away Alice! I don't think I have ever met someone as annoying as you ugh." I grumbled

_**It's a talent**_

_**I am trying to stop you from making a huge mistake. I care about you Edward. I see what it will do to you being away from her. **_

"This isn't about me Alice! I will endure it as long as she is safe. Hanging out with our kind is not good for her"

_**Bella will be one of us one day Edward, I have seen it!**_

My lips curled back and I snarled.

"The future can change. Bella will not be damned to a life of darkness." I glared at her.

She rolled her eyes and waited for me to calm down.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on calming my temper. I didn't want to take out my fury on Alice. I slumped down next to a tree and buried my face in my hands

_**Edward it kills me to see you like this. What is so wrong with Bella becoming one of us?**_

'I won't destroy her soul and I won't be the cause of her being in constant danger anymore. Please just leave me alone Alice.' I muttered

_**I can see what you are planning Edward. What about Carlisle and Esme? You know she will be heartbroken. Why can't you see what this will do to them, I don't want you to go! **_She thought as she took a seat next to me.

'I can't stay Alice, I won't be much company. I need to figure out how to live without her.' I said as I ruffled her hair affectionately. Alice was truly my sister in every way and I would miss her and the rest of my family. I didn't want them to be a part of what would be going on in my head. I didn't know if I would ever be the same again. I didn't want to put my family through that. I had to be alone for this.

_**Edward please, don't do this! Why are you so stubborn?**_

I was just about to let Alice have it when I heard murmuring in the house. It seemed that the rest of my family was home, so I would have to face the scene my leaving would cause. I reluctantly walked into the house, deciding to get it over with as quickly as possible. I walked in to find Carlisle and Esme staring at me anxiously. They sensed something was going on. Rosalie glared and Emmet was unaffected by the atmosphere just as he always was. Alice followed me into the house pouting at her failure to persuade me to change my mind.

"Edward, son what's going on?"

"I'm leaving, I won't be much fun to be around and I think it will be best."

"Edward, tell me why? I thought we were all going to leave together." Esme asked sadly

"I need to be alone for a while Esme." I said not meeting her gaze. I blocked out her sad thoughts I didn't want to hear them.

_**Are you sure this is what you want?**_ I nodded as I answered Carlisle's silent question.

_**I will miss you bro**_ Emmett thought quietly.

I needed to get out of here! I couldn't take their pain or sadness. I had enough of my own to deal with.

_**It will be better without her, in time you will find someone else, who won't disrupt our lives so much. **_

I snarled at Rosalie. Alice put a restraining hand on my shoulder.

_**Let it go**_ she commanded silently.

I shrugged away from her hand and went outside. I could hear her bouncing behind as she followed me again.

"Alice you can't follow me! I'm going and there is nothing that is left for you to say that will change my mind"

_**Okay but promise me that you will come back. I can't see yet if you will. You are pretty set on your path but I hope that it changes. You are a huge pain in the ass and you are extremely stubborn but I love you Edward. You have been the brother I always wanted.**_

"I love you too Alice just let me go okay! Take care of them for me."

_**I will **_she promised silently as I walked away from her. I didn't look back. I didn't want to see their faces. They would forgive me one day I was sure. They were my family and it killed me to leave them

My thoughts drifted back to Bella's face when I had told her I was leaving as I took in the utter devastation in her eyes. My mind was clouded with my last moments with her as I ran faster and faster leaving Forks behind in a blur.

"Edward it was nothing what happened with Jasper! I'm Fine"

"Yeah it could have been a lot worse."

"You are overreacting," She pleaded

"This isn't just about what happened with Jasper." I retorted

"What then?"

"I'm tired Bella! I am who I am and I can't change that. I won't pretend to be something I'm not anymore."

"I know that the loving, gentle person I see everyday is who you really are."

"Bella where we are going, it won't be the right place for you."

"How can it be the wrong place if I am with you?"

"Bella I don't want you to come with my family and I. Being with you is just not good for me."

She was silent and I didn't dare look to see the undisguised pain in her eyes.

'I guess that if things have changed for you, then I have to accept that."

I came to a stop at our meadow and the agony of the memories that flooded through me made me sink to the ground. Just then I looked up and realized that I wasn't alone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note:**

**Hey Guys Thanks so much for all the reviews that I have gotten so far for this story. I really appreciate it very much.**

**Please review chapter three and let me know what you think. I think this chapter is an interesting one lol. I would love to know your thoughts thanks**

* * *

Chap 3

Slowly I got up and stared at the vampire who had joined me in the meadow. I knew immediately that it was another of my kind even before I turned around. The footsteps were too light and rhythmic. The approach was virtually silent except to ears like mine. I watched the golden eyes stare at me intently. Her blond hair fell softly against her shoulders. It took me a moment to realize who it was as a dazzling smile spread across her face.

**Edward she thought just as startled as I was to see her.**

"Tanya what are you doing here?" I asked incredulous. She was the last person I expected to see. There was only one face that I dreamed of seeing but I stopped that thought before it could grab of hold of my absent heart and torture me further. I waited for her to answer trying to keep my thoughts focused

"I came to visit you all again. I am surprised to see you here all by yourself. Weren't you involved with that human girl Bella or something?" She asked unaware of how the sound of that name burnt through me like a raging fire. The memory of me never leaving Bella's side flooded her mind and mine

"I am actually leaving Tanya but the rest of the family is there. They will be delighted to see you after such a long time."

"Why are you leaving again?" She asked sadly. There was also an edge of disappointment to her voice. She still hoped even after all this time that I could feel the same way about her.

**I'm sure your family doesn't want you to go. In fact I am willing to bet that they don't.**

I ignored her thoughts trying to make me feel even guiltier than I already felt. Her thoughts were almost scolding and it was getting on my nerves

"I just am Tanya ok!" I growled

"Ok sorry I asked. I just don't understand you sometimes Edward." You seem to push everyone away she thought quietly

"I didn't mean to snap at you, it's just that I have had to go through the reasons why I'm leaving too many times and I just can't do it any more."

"Is Bella ok? Did you two have a fight?" She pressed. All different scenarios ran through her head. I interrupted her pondering before she got carried away

"Please just stay out of it. None of it matters anymore anyway." I snarled

I didn't want to lose the slight grip I had on my self control. This was the last thing that I wanted to discuss.

"I am just trying to be a friend Edward. I can see that you are suffering more than you are letting everyone see. Maybe talking about what is hurting you will help."

"Talking won't help me now. Thanks for the offer though." I muttered

"You are the most stubborn Vampire I have ever come across. The Edward Cullen I know doesn't run away!" She said angrily

"Please go away Tanya! I don't need a lecture."

"Well you need something." She murmured deep in thought

My legs gave out again and I sat down leaning against a tree.

Tanya came to join me without an invitation**. Edward its ok to open up sometimes you know she thought gently as she sat down across from me. I am not leaving you until you tell me why you are going away again. She stared at me with her eyebrows raised and I could see the determination on her face. **

She truly meant that she wasn't going to leave

"I am going to try my hand at tracking." I answered after a moment.

"You want to try tracking?" She snorted disbelief coloring her thoughts

"Why do you think I won't be able to?" I asked raising my eyebrows accusingly

"Edward don't get me wrong, I think you are one of the most talented people I know but that is one ability that you need to be born with"

"I am still going to give it a try." I said in a determined voice

**Tanya was silent for a moment as she wondered who I would want to track**

"It's no one important that I'm tracking." I said answering her silent thoughts

"I just wish you would open up a little Edward. Everyone needs help sometimes you know" She said sternly. Her golden eyes blazing with the signs of her frustration

"I appreciate it Tanya but I have never been one to let other people suffer along with me." I sighed and patted her arm in a brotherly way. I didn't want to hurt her feelings

"You put up such high walls Edward. I hope that you are letting Bella in at least. You should let someone in eventually." She trailed off

Bella's name bought all the pain right back to the surface. Every cell of my body was screaming to have her in my arms again. I pulled my reaction together and turned towards Tanya again

"Bella and I aren't together anymore." I said softly. Each word felt like it would crush me completely.

**What? I don't understand?** The thoughts ran frantically through her mind.

She was calmer though when she spoke

"I'm so sorry Edward. What happened?"

"It is a really hard subject for me." I murmured

"Ok fine, I won't push you on it but you still shouldn't leave"

I started to get to my feet

"I'm leaving for my sanity and for my family's sake." I said and started walking in the direction where I had been heading.

Tanya got up and followed me.

All of a sudden I felt myself being tackled to the ground and Tanya was kissing every part of my face that her lips could find. I hadn't realized before how strong she actually was. Within seconds pinned my arms were pinned above my head. I fought desperately to get my arms free again so that I could push her away. She wouldn't let me move an inch

"Tanya what are you doing. Please stop." I protested. She didn't stop and then moved her lips onto mine to silence me. I could feel her soft hair caress my face as she kissed me passionately. All I could think of was how soft and warm Bella's lips were compared to Tanya. It wasn't that Tanya's lips weren't soft as we were both vampires but I think it was more the fact that Bella's lips were the only ones I wanted to touch mine. Just then the light breeze picked up again and a scent hit my nose filling my mind like a drug. I would never be able to forget that scent in a million years. What was she doing here? I shoved Tanya off not bothering to be polite. I found her warm brown eyes staring in horror at the edge of the meadow. This wasn't how I had envisioned seeing her again. Not that I had really expected to see her again but some part of me had still held the dream of seeing her beautiful face again. I got to my feet in one swift movement

"Bella'" I said and started to walk towards her. Her face was crumpled in pain. She turned away from me and I could hear her heart accelerate as she started to run. I contemplated going after her. I knew that I could beat her with my eyes closed. Bella would never be able to outrun me. I didn't want to give in to the selfish side of me and run after her so that I could tell her everything was a misunderstanding and that I loved her. I started to race forward but then the reasons why I had left in the first place stopped me. I had to put her above myself. It was better if she hated me. It would help her to move on quicker. I just hated to cause her more pain though. I heard Tanya approach me anxiously. She put a gentle hand on my arm. I shoved her arm away.

"I'm so sorry Edward. I should never have done that."** I have just always loved you**.

I heard in her head. She wasn't able to speak the words aloud

"Tanya I am sorry but it can never happen for us. I am irreversibly altered by Bella."

**You aren't even together anymore. What do I have to do make you see me? She thought of all the things that maybe were wrong with her. Am I too bold? Am I not destined to be loved?** The thoughts swirled in her head. I stopped her before her mind could go too crazy.

"Tanya stop! There is nothing wrong with you. You are a wonderful person and any one who wins your heart will be a really lucky man. My heart belongs to Bella. It always will even if we are apart."

"Sure its not you it's me right. That's original." She snorted

"I'm not trying to spare you, I'm being honest." I said gently

"Its fine Edward I understand. You should go after Bella." She said keeping all the emotion off her face.

I kissed her head softly

"Thanks for loving me Tanya. You will always be like family to me. I'm so sorry if that isn't enough."

"Its ok Edward you can't tell your heart who it must love. I'm going to go see Carlisle."

I watched her walk away. I was torn. I wanted to race down to Bella's house and forget everything that had happened. I just knew deep down that Bella was better off without a monster like me. I went in the opposite direction of her house trying to pick up the scent again of Victoria. I would make sure that she wasn't near Forks. I wanted to keep an eye on her. I hoped that I wouldn't lose the scent so that I could fulfill my last obligation to Bella


	4. Chapter 4

ADMD-Chap 4

As I ran Bella's face entered my mind as it did every minute that I was away from her. I could not escape it and if I was being honest with myself I didn't want to. It had been two months since I had seen Bella as she had run away from the meadow and also it had been the last day I had seen my family. Carlisle and Esme had called me a few times but to be honest I had nothing to say to them anymore. They had filled me in on what everyone was up to. Esme was enjoying restoring an old forlorn house that she had come across. Those were Esme's favorite, the ones that needed a little work. To Esme everything had the potential to be beautiful and she loved any excuse to decorate. I knew Esme was content being kept busy but I could hear the sadness in her voice but her questions for me remained silent. I loved her as my mother, but even for her I hadn't been able to return to Forks. To back there and to see her face, knowing that I couldn't be with her would be torture. Carlisle had long given up trying to convince me to come back. He had accepted that I just wasn't ready but he had just said to me that they would always be there when I came back. I assured him that one day I would be back and that I hoped that I just needed time. Carlisle was studying again which didn't surprise me as he had a thirst for knowledge, no pun intended. He was one of the most intelligent people I knew and I had always admired him for his dedication to making the best out of our circumstances and his desire to protect human life even when it went against our nature to do so. Alice and Jasper were throwing themselves into researching her past as a human as Alice wanted to try, remember what had happened before she had become immortal. Carlisle had also mentioned that Rose and Emmett had gone on yet another honeymoon. A scent that entered my nose made me come back to the present. I had come so close to finding Victoria but every time I thought that I could corner her she evaded me. I went after the scent and then came to an abrupt halt. It went cold at the water's edge. I snarled angrily, would I ever get my hands on her. A couple people who had been hiking along the trail gazed up at me in alarm. I ignored the fear in their eyes. Where was Victoria? I wasn't sure that she was a danger to Bella but I would not leave it to chance though. The vibration of my phone interrupted my speculating. I knew who it would be and I didn't even bother to look at the screen. I flipped open the phone reluctantly.

"Yes Alice." I sighed

This was about the 50th phone call I had received today from her, which was actually a little compared to how many times she had been phoning me every day since I had left.

"Don't be such a pessimist. You should be grateful that I care enough to call you." She chirped

"Yes I appreciate your concern, but is it really necessary for you to call me so many times a day."

"Well I miss you and I will not give up until you stop being so stubborn and come home."

"Well considering how much I have been subjected to your voice since I left, I haven't had a chance to miss you."

"Ha-ha the comedian of the family strikes again. I am your favorite sister, of course you miss me. "She said with a trace of teasing but there was an edge to her voice.

"So what does my favorite sister want?"

"To let you know that we are all going up to Denali. Everyone would really love to see you Edward." She urged

"I can't Alice besides I must be the last person that Tanya wants to see."

"She is already over it Edward, don't be such a coward. You are out of excuses to stay away."

"I am not! I am really busy and I have to go now." I said abruptly

"Fine but you will be hearing from me again." She threatened

"I look forward to it." I said through my teeth and ended the call.

She was unbelievable I thought angrily. Maybe I should get rid of my phone, and then we would see how she would get hold of me. I decided against that idea as I knew that it would make Esme even more upset and I wanted them to be able to get hold of me if anything happened. I needed that little bit of contact with the rest of the world. My phone vibrated again. I groaned in frustration, how annoying could one person be? I gazed quickly at the screen and saw Rose's name flashing. Alice had set Rose on me.

"Hi Rosalie."

"Edward where are you?"

"Never mind it isn't important, why are you calling?"

"To tell you what the rest of the family won't tell you, that you are being a selfish jerk."

"Thanks can I go now?"

"I am not finished. Edward can't you think about Carlisle and Esme. Do you even realize how much you are upsetting them by staying away?"

"Rosalie making me feel guilty is not going to work."

"That isn't the only thing. Alice is driving me mad as she doesn't have you to concentrate on."

I chuckled darkly

"It isn't funny." Rose complained

"I thought you and Emmett were on another honeymoon anyway."

"Yes we were but now we are all together again except for you. I am tired Edward. I can only go shopping so many times. I have enough clothes. Please come home"

'You know that calling me selfish is sort of the pot calling the kettle black."

"Wow you are truly a comedian Edward and you never told us." She said and her tone told me that she wasn't amused.

"Yip that's me Rose, is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Please save me from Alice."

"I am sure you will survive."

"Edward if you don't want to do it for me, then do it for Carlisle and Esme. The people who have loved you for so many years."

"I don't know.' I whispered but there was the slightest hesitation in my voice as I was torn. Maybe it would be nice to see them for a little while. Rosalie picked up on the hesitation in my voice and seized on the opportunity

"Edward, give it a try and if you really can't handle being back then you can leave again. She bargained

I thought about it and wondered if it really would be such a bad idea. Maybe it would be good for me to see them for a couple days and to sort things out with Tanya. I sighed in defeat

'Fine Rosalie, I will come to Denali for a couple days. I will catch a flight today."

"Thank you Edward, see you soon."

"Sure see you tomorrow." I heard Alice announcing my visit just before I hung up the phone.

I called the airport and managed to get a seat on the flight to Alaska. I was surprised to find that I was actually looking forward to seeing my family. I didn't think that I was still capable of feeling that way. Yes I was still just a shallow shell of the person I had become since the brilliant light that was Bella had entered my life. Just maybe, though I could be around my family again, for a couple days at least. I loved them all dearly and I knew that my continued absence was hurting them more than I wanted to admit to myself. I was determined though that in the state of mind I was in, it would be far worse if I was with them right now. I would try being better for a couple of days though; I would handle that for them. One day I could hope to regain some form of a life again. If I could just get through one hour, maybe even a minute without seeing her face in my mind, I could try going back there permanently again.

I got to the airport in plenty of time and sat down in the comfortable first class seat. I wasn't really bothered whether I sat in first class but it did help not to have so many curious strangers around and Alice always insisted on first class so it became habit for all of us. We had all learned that it just wasn't worth it to argue with Alice. I noticed a blonde flight attendant glancing appreciatively in my direction. I groaned inwardly, this was going to be a really long flight. For the first time in a while I didn't know exactly what to expect the next day and that felt great.


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors Note:**

**Ok guys so I really hope that you like this chapter. Not a lot happens in it but I promise the story gets more interesting from here haha**

**Please review and give me constructive criticism lol :) or otherwise if you like it let me know**

**Have a great day**

**Tash**

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I looked around the plane and noticed the blonde airhostess looking at me again. I looked away then and looked outside the window as the plane took off. I saw the same brown eyes staring sadly back at me and I sighed as I tried to forget her eyes. I would be closer to her than I had been in a couple months but she wouldn't even know that. I continued to stare out the window as I watched the ground get further and further away. Just then a voice pulled me out of my reminiscing.

"Can I get you something to drink Sir?"

_I wouldn't mind taking you home. I wonder if I should give him my number_ she added silently

"No thanks I am fine."

"I'm Mia by the way." She said smiling

"Yes I know, saw it on your name tag." I said

"Oh yes right, well let me know if you need anything." She said flustered

_How much of an idiot can you be_ she scolded herself as she walked away from me.

I chuckled silently. She had kind, blue eyes but she held no attraction for me.

I tried to distract myself by listening to some music but that didn't hold my attention for long.

_Ok you can do this. Just take a deep breath_ I heard my admirer's thoughts as she walked towards me again.

"I know this is pretty forward of me but I was wondering if you would like to have dinner sometime." She asked and maybe then we can go back to my place afterwards she added as an afterthought but she didn't say that aloud.

Ugh why did this have to happen to me? I hated having to hurt people's feelings.

"Thank you very much but I can't accept." I said politely

"Oh ok sure that's no problem."

She walked away as fast as she could. I heard her muttering to her friend about how embarrassed she felt about asking me. I felt bad but it was for the best, I wouldn't be the best person to eat dinner with anyway. There might just be a conflict of interest since we were on quite different diets. I laughed once under my breath at the absurdity of it all

Mercifully I felt the plane beginning the descent towards Alaska where my family would be waiting I was sure. Just then I felt the plane shudder underneath me. The passenger's voices began to rise in panic. I didn't feel worried as I knew if the plane crashed that it wouldn't kill me even if I wanted it to but I was worried about all these people and If I could save them without giving myself away. I tried to pick up on the Captains thoughts to find out if there was an engine failure or something. I listened and relief washed over me. It was just some extremely bad turbulence and the captain was sure they would be able to land safely still despite the weather. Just then an announcement to that effect was made and I heard all the relieved thoughts of everyone around me.

"Ladies and gentlemen we are experiencing some turbulence but we assure you that we will land safely in the next ten minutes, we urge you not to panic."

The plane jerked as the wheels finally touched the ground.

I made my way straight towards the exit of the terminal as I hadn't bought a bag of clothes or anything. I spotted Alice first as she ran up and jumped right on me locking me in a hug. My eyes widened at her enthusiastic greeting but I let it go. I had learned not to be surprised by Alice anymore.

"Edward I am so glad you came back." She said as she climbed down from my arms

"Hi Alice it's nice to see you."

Jasper eyed us wearily but I just shrugged my shoulders as I watched his reaction. Alice would be Alice. He of all people should know what emotion was behind that gesture. It had only ever been family love between the two of us.

My whole family had come except for Rosalie which didn't surprise me as she was never one to make a big deal out of things. She probably had moaned at why they were coming to fetch me anyway when I was quite capable of getting to Tanya's family home by myself.

"I am so happy to see you Edward. It makes me sad that you have stayed away." Esme said as we walked towards Carlisle's black Mercedes. She hadn't let go of my arm.

'I am sorry Esme, I don't mean to make you feel that way."

"I forgive you as I know you have had a lot to deal with but promise me that you won't just run off again." She scolded

'I can't promise that but I will stay for a couple of days." I said gently

"Fine I suppose that's more than I expected."

I noticed then that Alice was looking me up and down with a grimace across her face.

"Alice is something wrong?" I asked amused as I knew her too well.

"Your clothes they look terrible. You haven't been going out in those have you?" Alice demanded

"Well to be honest with you Alice, I haven't been that bothered about what I am wearing."

"Edward sometimes I wonder if you really are my brother." She answered and her tone was not amused

She was already planning which shops she was going to get some new clothes for me.

"Alice I don't need new clothes." I grumbled as we all slid in the car and were on our way to Denali.

'Edward you are a real disappointment sometimes."

_Welcome home_ Jasper thought amused as I ignored Alice's thoughts.

I rolled my eyes at him.

We came to a stop outside their house that belonged to Tanya and her family. It was white and open like ours. Their taste in furniture differed from ours though. They didn't have an antique dining table like ours. Theirs was made of smooth white marble which I suppose was fitting in a house belonging to Vampires.

Rosalie was at the door first

"Welcome, it is so nice of you to honour us with your presence." Rosalie muttered sarcastically

I ignored her jibe.

'It's good to see you too Rose." I answered as we all walked inside.

_You are a selfish jerk for staying away like this_, Rosalie accused silently as she followed us in.

"Yes Rosalie, I know."

"What did I miss?" Emmett asked annoyed. He hated being left out of things with me answering silent questions and Alice forewarned about everything.

"Rosalie just called me out for being a jerk." I answered flatly

"Give him a break Rose; he is going through a lot." Emmett said grabbing Rose's waist

"Yes I know that but he can't hide from the world forever." Rose muttered

"Baby let us just give him some time." Emmett said calmly.

"Edward." Tanya's voice sang as she came into the living room

"Hi Tanya, How are you?"

"I'm fine thanks." She said pulling me into a hug. I jerked away from her embrace.

_Oh please Edward; I don't want you to feel awkward. I won't ever force myself on you again. I am happy for us just to be friends. I do apologize for what happened the other day. I should never have done that._

I nodded in response to her apology. I let go of Tanya and greeted the rest of her family.

It became a little crowded after a few minutes and I made my way outside to be alone for a while. It felt better when I was alone as then I didn't have to pretend. I didn't have to make myself appear more in control than I actually was. I sat on the bench on the front porch and stared out towards the trees. It wasn't long until I heard the familiar footsteps

"Alice cant I just get a few minutes alone please?"

_Edward you have been alone for the past two months. I think it will do you good to be around us for a while._

"I disagree." I mumbled

_You're thinking that it was a mistake for you to come back but it wasn't. Edward you are so stuck in your own world right now maybe we can pull you out of it. Did you see how happy you made Esme and Carlisle by coming back?_

I shook my head at her words.

_Edward you aren't thinking clearly right now, you don't have a clue what you really need._

"Please just let me be, I want to be alone. So that I can let the misery have me."

_I will not allow it to have you Edward. You need to either accept the choice you made or you need to let fate happen_

"I will not damn her to a life without a soul and one filled with danger because of who I am." I growled

_Then you need to accept the choice you made. You have to start living your life again_

"I will eventually Alice, I just need more time." I muttered

_Well get a move on because you are becoming rather boring. _

I glowered at her but she was chuckling at what she knew my reaction would be.

"I'm sorry I am boring you, why don't you go annoy someone else." I teased

_You will only be here for two days so I need to make the most of that time. I can see that you are going to leave again._

"Yes I am."

_I am going to go get you some new clothes before you leave. Your latest fashion sense is giving me a headache. Carlisle is coming anyway to talk to you she warned as she danced her way back inside._

A moment later Carlisle appeared at the door.

_May I speak with you_? He wondered as he walked forward onto the porch

I nodded reluctantly knowing what was probably about to come. Carlisle wasn't usually one for lectures though. He didn't like to force people into things.

_Edward I don't feel like you are handling things well son. Are you sure you don't want to revisit things?_

"I know that I made the right choice and I won't go back on it."

_I understand the reasons behind your choice and you have every right to handle things your way but I hate to see you suffer like this son; you deserve so much more than this_

I sighed

"I am sorry for everything."

_You don't have to apologize for anything just don't rush off again without saying goodbye alright. You are an important part of this family and I hope that you will be ready to join us again. We will always be here ready and waiting to welcome you back with open arms. _

"Thank you." I said sadly lost in my own thoughts as Carlisle walked away. He was a great man, one of the best that I had ever met. The thing was I wasn't sure if I could ever be the same again. Nothing meant anything to me anymore. There was a constant war inside my head between the misery that sometimes I only kept at bay by inches and the guilt for hurting my family.

They all went out to hunt later and I stayed behind not in the least bit interested. I had come to a decision I was going to leave while they were out. I was making things worse by letting them all feel helpless as none of them could pull me out of my dark, lifeless thoughts. I know that they were really happy that I was here but I was making them worry more by being back. I had to get away again. I was sorry that I wouldn't keep my promise to Carlisle but I knew he of all people would understand that I wasn't myself right now.

I walked out the front door preparing to run. I would make it to the airport in twenty minutes if I kept at a steady pace. I heard an approach from behind and I knew who it would be.

"Alice I don't want to hear it!" I said before she had a chance to think and scold me like I knew she would.

_Wait before you bite my head off, I am just here to say goodbye and to give you the new clothes I bought for you._ She handed me a suitcase which was full to the brim.

"Thank you Alice, and for the record I wasn't biting your head off."

Fine maybe I exaggerate sometimes but you are prone to be melodramatic sometimes she countered grinning at me.

I rolled my eyes and ruffled her hair affectionately

"Goodbye, thanks for taking good care of all of us. Who knows what we would be wearing if we didn't have you." I said and gave her one last smile and then I was gone.


	6. Chapter 6

The months went by even though time didn't seem to exist for me. It was as if my life had stopped all those months ago. I had somehow ended up in South America. I wasn't even sure exactly where in South America I had ended up. I enjoyed the humidity in this place for some reason. I felt as If I could breathe here. I didn't feel too hot as my skin always remained ice cold. Right at this moment all I could focus on was how unbearably thirsty I was. I hadn't had much interest in hunting in the recent months but now it had become too unmanageable and I couldn't ignore this need anymore. So here I was crouching on a branch, in one of the many trees that could be found in this area, following a huge black panther. His claws would be no match for me. His heart beat in anticipation of his prey that he was after and it caused my throat to burn in response. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath waiting for the perfect moment to pounce. I tasted the scent of my surroundings as I sucked in the air. I could smell the object of my desire; he was very close now that I could almost taste him. The scent of my prey made my thirst so much worse. I could taste the scent of the leaves and flowers in the forest. I opened my eyes again and then he came into view below me. I crouched into position ready to spring on top of him when a new scent hit my nostrils. I froze as I registered what it was. It wasn't a smell that I recognized but I knew at once that it was another vampire and it wasn't one that I had met before. I turned around and looked into vivid red eyes which were settled on being amused.

"Wow one of the famous Cullen family." She said sweetly in a voice which I was sure had caused many human males to be seduced and lured into her trap.

"I'm sorry but I don't think I know who you are."

"I'm Heidi, we haven't met before. I am a recent addition to the Volturi family. I am out here organizing some visitors for our wonderful city Volterra."

I winced as the awful images flashed through her mind and due to my little talent they flashed across mine too. They would lead all the innocent people into a room and the feasting would begin. It made me sick to think of it. They were worse than the ones who blatantly killed people as they would never know what was coming but maybe that was better in a way. It still sent chills up my spine.

"Yes I have heard of you." I muttered

"My reputation precedes me." She said smiling widely

"I didn't realize that you travelled so far out to hunt." I said pointedly

"Variety is the spice of life. The same food gets boring after a while." She said smiling widely showing her teeth this time.

I noticed what she was wearing for the first time, a low cut deep blue top which bought up the memories of how Bella's skin had looked against that color. She also had on a short silver mini skirt and thigh high boots. I suppose to human eyes you could concede that she was beautiful but all I could see when I looked at her was who she really was a clever hunter who loved the chase just like James had before he had been taken care of.

I wonder what he is doing here alone I heard her muse silently. I know that Aro is very interested in the strange Cullen family and their strange lifestyle

"Why is our lifestyle strange just because we decided to make the best of what was given to us? By the way my family will be joining me"

"Aro did not exaggerate about your ability Edward, I didn't mean any harm I was just simply curious. You Cullens deny your very natures"

"Where is written that we have to be monsters just because of what we are."

"We will have to disagree on that point."

"Look Heidi I don't mean to be rude but you did interrupt my hunt and I'm sure you would like to get back to Volterra as I'm sure they await your return anxiously."

"Are you talking about the panther? How will that satisfy you?" She asked not able to see the draw of an animal compared to a human

"Each to their own." I mumbled

She laughed a high pitched silvery sound

"Yes I suppose so. Come and see us soon as I know Aro especially would love to see you and Carlisle."

Yes I knew that Aro was most anxious to see the two of us but that was one trip I would put off as long as possible.

"I'll be sure to do that."

She gave me one last smile and then she was gone as silently as she had arrived

I knew after the time that I had been distracted by Heidi the panther would have made its escape and I was right. I tried to pick up the scent again but it was long gone. I growled silently.

My phone vibrated cutting my anger short

I was surprised when I saw Rose's name flashing at me. I didn't think that she would waste any more of her precious time on me. Rosalie wasn't that type of person. The only reason that she would bother me was if there was something wrong

"What is it?" I asked flatly

"Hey Edward, you answered your phone. I should give you a round of applause"

I pinched the bridge of my nose as I fought to control my anger. It was obvious that nothing was wrong with the sarcasm dripping off her like it usually. I had never understood how Rosalie saw the world. She was probably just phoning out of boredom.

I hung up on her as I knew that my family was fine. Leave me alone I grumbled

The phone vibrated again.

I hesitated before I answered. Rosalie was not one who gave up easily and I knew she wouldn't stop phoning until I answered. I hit the send button again reluctantly

"Tell me whatever message that you have to and please just leave me alone." I growled

"Alice is in Forks." She said airily

"What did you just say?"

"Edward you know that Alice isn't one that can stay out of things."

I couldn't stop the rage that overcame me in waves now. Alice had sworn that she would stay away from there even if she hadn't agreed with my decision. Maybe Alice knew better than I did. Maybe she thought that I would cave in and go back to Bella and grovel. I was very close to that point but I hadn't reached that point yet so what was she doing there? If she was here I would ring her neck if Jasper would let me get that close.

I answered Rosalie after a long moment

"Is there a point to you telling me Rosalie?"

"Don't you care at all why Alice is there?"

"No I don't so if that's all I will go now."

"Well Alice just went back to Forks; it doesn't necessarily mean that she has gone to see Bella. So don't get angry alright."

"Rosalie, why the hell are you calling me? I am going to hang up again."

"Edward you should come home. You can't carry on being selfish like this and hanging around in all corners of the Earth. You have a family and you need to think of them now." Rosalie said angrily

"I mean if this whole thing that you have against Forks is over then what's the problem?"

It was as if she was talking in riddles. What did she mean that it was over? Maybe Bella had moved away somewhere? If she had then I was glad as it would get her away from the shadows which shouldn't be a part of her life.

"Rosalie even if Bella." Still to this day I battled to say her name. "…has moved away it doesn't mean that I can just come back and be the same again."

I heard her intake of breath as I waited for her to answer me

"Um Edward I never said that Bella had moved…" she trailed off

"Rosalie what are you not telling me?"

"Edward there is something that I thought you should know. The rest of the family didn't want you to know but I felt that you needed to."

"Just spit it out Rosalie." I said flatly

"Edward we can be a family again, don't you see how wonderful that is."

My brain couldn't seem to make sense of her words.

"I don't understand?" I growled

"Edward, Bella is dead." Rosalie said softly but I heard it all. My body couldn't comprehend those words that had come out of her mouth. They could not be true.

"What are you talking about?" I demanded

"Alice saw her jump off a cliff and in her vision Bella did not resurface."

"Maybe her vision was wrong."

"Edward you know better than I do that it isn't wrong. I'm so sorry but maybe it's for the best. Now you don't have to stay away anymore."

I cut her off and ended the call and I was already dialing the familiar number

"The Swan residence." An unfamiliar husky voice answered. I wondered who it was.

"Is Charlie there?" I asked

"No he is at the funeral"

I hung up the phone and threw it away from me where I couldn't see it. I didn't want to talk to anyone as I would no longer exist after today. I would not live in a world without her. I knew none of my brothers would help me with what I wanted to do now. I would find a way. I had caused this. This was entirely my fault and I had never truly hated myself until this moment. I fell to my knees. No No No I repeated to myself as I sobbed tearless sobs. What I would give to be able to cry at this moment. Right now I truly detested that I was a rock. How could she be gone? I thought that she was healthy and living her life the way it would have been if I hadn't entered it and turned her world upside down. I had lost the only thing that had truly meant anything to me. I didn't care that I was still thirsty. I was going to Italy and I hoped that after today I would be able to join Bella wherever she was. I knew that Alice would find out immediately where I was going as soon as I had made the decision but there was no way her vision would be fast enough to stop me now. As I made my way to the airport I thought of ways that I could succeed in my only mission now. I could simply ask them or I could force their hand. Hopefully it wouldn't come to that but I was prepared for anything.

I made my way to the bookings counter once I was at the airport. I actually felt better than I had in days as now I had a purpose now. I would bear this pain for a little while longer and then I hoped that I would be set free from a world where Bella didn't exist and from this body that I had never wanted in the first place.

I felt oddly peaceful as I took my seat and the plane took off leading me to the last place that I would see.


	7. Chapter 7

I didn't notice as the city lights flew by. I had one mission and nothing else mattered. I would go to the Volturi and ask them to end my life. They would be surprised to have a visit from me so soon after running into one of their own but they were the only ones that could save me now. I knew that Emmet and Jasper would never help me and the rest of the family wouldn't allow it anyway. It was funny to think of the Volturi as my saviours but that is what they would become for me if they agreed to what I asked them to do. I wanted to escape this pain as soon as possible and then I could be with my Bella again where I belonged. As I made my way to Volterra I thought of my other options in case they didn't listen to me. I would have to force their hand somehow. I could make myself noticeable in the city. They had prided themselves on keeping their existence a secret and their city safe from vampire killings. I knew that they wouldn't be so forgiving if I suddenly hunted in their city or made a spectacle of myself so that there would be no doubt as to what I was. I would do that if they refused me. They would act quickly I was certain of it and quick exit from this cruel world was all I craved. The city seemed busy as I made my way through the city gates and I wondered what the occasion was and then I noticed a sign. It was St Marcus day tomorrow and the irony of what that day was almost made me laugh. It celebrated the extinction of the vampires from the city. No Aro and the rest of them would not allow to me live for long if I ruined their charade. I made my way to their so called castle. It didn't take long for one of them to greet me

"Edward, it's quite a surprise to see you here." A young silver voice said without emotion.

"Jane." I said curtly

"You are here to see Aro, Marcus and Caius I guess?"

"Yes thank you."

"Follow me; Aro will be exceptionally pleased to see you."

"Yes I'm sure he will." I said as her smile widened in response

I had never known anyone to enjoy being a Vampire as much as Jane did. Carlisle had told me about how much she relished her gift and I could see that clearly now. I could see the amusement that showed constantly in her crimson eyes. We walked through a dark tunnel buried deep beneath the city away from the fragile humans. I followed her lead. When we reached the reception area I came across a scent which was unmistakably human. What was a human doing working down here amongst vampires? Her thoughts weren't fearful at all. She seemed quite at ease even though I was sure the temperature wouldn't be that comfortable for her but in the reception it did seem a little warmer than the tunnels we had walked through.

She glanced up at me as we walked through

"Hello Jane." She said cheerfully

"Good Afternoon Gianna." Jane said curtly

_Hmmm I wonder who he is. He is gorgeous. I wonder if he would bite me if I asked him to. I wonder when my time will come when I will get turned into one of them._

As I heard her thoughts I stared at Gianna and she met my gaze and her face flushed. If I hadn't been at the end of my rope I might have laughed

Then finally we were at the huge gold doors and I knew that finally I could see Aro and make my request of them. I heard shocked murmurs as I entered the room. Marcus glanced up but without much interest. I wondered if Marcus was just incapable of showing any enthusiasm for anything. It was Aro who grinned widely and rushed over to Jane.

"Dear one you have returned and with such a welcome guest." He said and kissed her on her perfect smooth cheek.

Aro's thoughts were mostly curious but also delighted to finally see me in person. Rumours of my talent and our coven had long reached the Volturi. He was still oddly fond of Carlisle after the brief time he had spent in Italy. They were all extremely interested in the life we led.

"Friend Edward what a pleasant surprise to see you here." He said and I could see some sincerity in his milky red eyes

"Thank you. I have heard a lot about you from Carlisle."

"How is my friend Carlisle? Is he coming for a visit too?"

"He is well thank you very much. No it is only me that has come."

"Ah I would have liked to have seen him again. So what brings you here to our wonderful little city?"

"I came to ask if the Volturi could end my life today." I said my voice didn't falter as I uttered the words because I was so certain of my course. This was the only way for me now.

_I don't understand a suicidal vampire. Why would ask for that? Carlisle would never forgive us. This is a first._

I listened to his thoughts and I knew that I had to do better to persuade him

"I have lost Bella and I will not and cannot live in a world which doesn't include her. Please this is all I ask of you"

"Edward isn't this a bit of an overreaction?"

"All I want is to leave this world."

"Carlisle would never forgive me if I let that happen."

"It's not his choice. This is between the Volturi and me." I growled through my teeth

He was silent for a long while and then another voice interrupted the silence

"You cannot seriously be considering this Brother. We aren't here to grant requests just because a vampire can't deal with life anymore." Caius muttered incredulously

He held out his hand to silence Caius

"Edward this is not an easily granted request. I think we need to think this over a little more before we give a final decision. I would like to get the full story from you first." He said holding out his hand in invitation

I sighed in frustration. How could I survive more hours in this world? I wanted a decision now so that if they told me no then I would force their hand. I placed my palm on his hand as I knew he wouldn't give me a decision until he had listened to my thoughts. It was one of the gifts that Carlisle had mentioned to me. Aro was able to hear any thought that a person had ever had. So in a matter of minutes he would know all about my family and all the moments with Bella. He would know everything but I was past caring at this point. I waited uneasily as he listened and then finally he spoke.

"Simply fascinating, we will counsel and let you know."

I growled impatiently

"A little more time friend and then we will give you our decision. Jane will show you out. Stay inconspicuous while you wait please. Keep out of the sun we wouldn't want any unnecessary attention to be thrown upon us."

I nodded in response and followed Jane out. Her thoughts were mostly filled with her desire for power and blood and I tuned them out.

The next few hours were excruciating as I waited for their decision. Every minute that I spent waiting to join Bella wherever she was cut deep and I didn't know how long I could hang on for. I waited in the back alleys of the city just like a real vampire.

After what seemed like forever, Jane found me and summoned me to Aro. All three of them were sitting on their so called thrones and I waited for them to speak. I knew their answer already though as I could hear it in their thoughts, they were not going to help me. I would find another way then.

"Edward we feel it would be wasteful to end your life for you when you have so much talent. We could use you here with us. I will not make an enemy out of Carlisle. I am sorry but we cannot do what you ask. What do you say? Would you join us and become part of our happy family?"

I looked around at their faces, Jane and Alec their faces filled with adoration for their masters. I would not become one of their puppets. I knew he wanted me but Alice was one he wanted so much more than me and I hoped that she would never come here. I could read the disappointment in his thoughts when I had told him that I was the only Cullen that had come. He had hoped to see Alice more than Carlisle.

"No thank you, I will be going now." I growled

"Edward wont you stay a while?"

I shook my head and walked out. I had to put my next plan into action. If I hunted in their city they would come after me and they wouldn't ask any questions. I strolled out the through the alley and walked closer to where the human scent was stronger. I would be sorry to end a life this way but this was essential to my survival right now. I could hear voices heightened in excitement close to where I stood. All I would need was to get one of them alone and then it would be over really quickly as they wouldn't stand a chance. They wouldn't be able to escape me. I continued to watch them and then I noticed one of them fall behind the others. She had bright red hair and she seemed like she was around my age, well my suggested age. I walked out of the alley and approached her.

My approach was silent. I came up behind her but then Carlisle's face flashed across my mind and I froze. How could I go against everything that we believed in? How could I betray all the trust that he had in me and the compassion that he had instilled in our family. Even at the end of things I couldn't bring myself to do it. She turned around then and saw me following her and the strange thing was that there wasn't fear in her eyes like there should have been.

"Can I help you?"

_He looks as though he is looking for someone. He looks like he has been wondering for days_

"Not thank you." I answered. I must look worse than I thought.

"Oh ok I just thought maybe you did as it seems like you are looking for someone."

"Yes I was but she isn't here." And she wouldn't be coming back to me ever I thought silently.

Her blue eyes were kind as she looked me over. She was genuinely concerned

"Are you sure you don't want me to come and help you look for her?"

"No that's fine, I appreciate the offer though." I said sadly

"I'm Isabel by the way." She said smiling

"I'm Edward." I said reluctantly but avoided shaking her hand as I was sure my hands would be even colder than their usual temperature now.

"Ok Edward well I hope you find what you are looking for. Take care."

"Thanks." I muttered and turned away from her concerned face. Her face actually reminded me of Esme in a way and I didn't want that reminder right now.

I fell down on my knees trying to think of my next option. My plan started coming together then. I would simply make a scene by walking into the sun where my skin would reveal who I truly was. The Volturi would definitely kill me if I ruined their little festival today.

I walked towards the square where the whole city would gather. I would wait till noon when the sun was the strongest and then I would walk out in the middle of the square where they would all be able to see me. I stayed just out of the sun as I waited for my moment. The square gradually started to fill up and I saw lots of red all around knowing that it wouldn't be long now. For my last few moments I decided not to stop my memories of Bella as she was the last person that I wanted to think of before my life ended. In my mind I could see her face as clearly as If she were here. I imagined that I hadn't left her and that we were still curled up on her bed and that I had her in my arms. I imagined that I had asked her to be my wife and I thought of how beautiful Bella would look as she came down the isle towards me. I smiled at the thought and closed my eyes. I spent my last moments with Bella and then I opened my eyes and Bella beckoned to me. I took a step forward into the sun.


	8. Chapter 8

I took another step forward and then just as I was about to become fully exposed by the blistering sun something soft and warm collided with me. The force wasn't enough to knock me down but it made me pause for a moment. I opened my eyes and all of a sudden I was staring into Bella's beautiful face. She was frowning at me and I didn't understand. There was also fear in her expression.

"Wow I am surprised at how fast they are. I didn't feel a thing which I suppose I can be grateful for." They must have anesthetized me first."

"Edward please, you need to move away from the sun before they kill all of us."

My imagination was really running wild as my illusion was even talking back to me. Her words weren't making sense as we were both already dead.

I smiled at her feeling at peace finally knowing that I was where I belonged, right here where Bella was.

"Listen to me please, you can't stay out here." She shouted.

"Why do I have to leave? I want to stay here with you. Death has not taken any of your beauty away." I murmured and stroked her cheek gently. Her skin felt and smelt just the way I remembered it.

"Edward we aren't dead, we can count ourselves lucky that they haven't killed us yet but there is a good chance of that happening if we don't get out of here." She said fiercely.

Why was there panic in her voice? We had all the time in the world now to be together. What was the rush? Then I picked up on the word 'yet'

"What did you say?" I murmured

"Edward you have to believe me, both of us are alive and you have to get away from the sun now." She shouted as she tried to push me back but I remained still. All of a sudden I realized that I was being a complete idiot and that Bella was really and truly here. At the same moment that I came to my senses two other vampires joined us. I stiffened as I knew it would be them. They had obviously being keeping a watch over me.

"Edward would you please step away from the sun before, you do something that you will regret." Felix snarled.

I picked up Bella by the waist and put her behind me. I crouched ready for the onslaught. They would not lay a hand on her; I would make sure of that. I could hear Felix's furious thoughts as he wondered what they should do with me as I knew the kind of instructions that they had been given. They wouldn't think anything of disposing of the three of us. He seemed to show quite a bit of interest in what Bella was doing there and it made me nervous.

I walked out of the sun then. Felix and Demetri seemed to relax once I moved.

"Gentleman as you can see no harm was done and there will be no need for your services today. Thank you for your trouble."

"Not so fast, Aro would like to see you again and I think the girl can come with."

"No you can go to hell. Bella has nothing to do with this. She goes free or I'm not coming anywhere with you no matter how nicely Aro asks. None of you will come near her" I growled

Demetri who had been quiet the whole time suddenly spoke. He was big like Emmett. He was muscular and I knew he would be quite a match physically for me but I was still confident that if Bella's life were at risk I would be able to take him.

"Edward, that isn't your decision. Aro, Caius and Marcus request another meeting and it would be unwise to refuse."

I moved deeper into my defensive crouch

Edward please don't do anything rash. The shout was as loud as if the words had been spoken rather than just a silent scolding from Alice

I sighed; I suppose I shouldn't be at all shocked that Alice was here. She probably jumped on a plane as soon as she saw the decision that I had made.

"Remember gentleman he isn't alone." Alice said calmly as she came to stand by my side.

Demetri and Felix were not happy at all with this new development. Their thoughts that had been smug before now were a little shaken. They didn't like the fact there were two of us now especially with Alice and I having the gifts that we did. I noticed Alice taking a defensive position too

"Ok everyone lets just settle down here, this doesn't have to get out of hand."

"Fine I agree we will just leave quietly and unnoticed and that will be the end of it." I said politely.

I could hear Felix's frustration as I wasn't making it any easier for him to obey the specific orders that they had been given.

"I can't allow that as Aro doesn't take well to disappointment. He will be delighted to have two extra guests that he wasn't expecting. You will all come with us."

I heard the pounding of Bella's heart, she must be terrified. This was exactly what I was trying to protect her from, my world.

"I gave you my conditions; I will come as long as it's just me."

"No Edward please." Bella choked out and it sounded like a whimper.

"Shh Bella I will be fine." I said patting her arm trying to sooth her. Just then the alley became really crowded as Jane joined us. My shoulders slumped in defeat as there would no way that we could leave now with her here.

"Please follow me." Jane said and I could taste the smugness that was radiating from her. How I would love to give her a taste of her own medicine. If somehow I could be immune to her little talent for a few minutes, I could have my chance at her as without that behind her I was sure that she wouldn't be a match for me. She would haven't bothered learning any attacking skills as she wouldn't never have needed it as no one could get close enough to her.

I put my arm around Bella's waist and pulled her along with me. It was strange as I knew that we were probably in the worst danger possible but deep down I felt complete again. My Bella wasn't dead after all and here she was where I could feel her in my arms again. After everything that I had put her through she had still come in the hopes of saving me. I didn't deserve someone like her. I looked down at her beautiful face and noticed her eyes widened in fear. I could see that she desperately wanted some answers but there was no way that I could give them to her with the likes of Jane and Demetri around. I just shook my head at her.

"So Alice, I should have guessed that you would make an appearance here." I said casually as we walked back through the alley towards the castle again.

"It was up to me to put things right and that's what I came to do. I owed you both that Edward."

"So why don't you enlighten me with what happened?" I said keeping my voice flat as I didn't want the extra sensitive vampire ears to pick up on anything.

"Well in short Bella did jump off the cliff but it was more for recreational purposes only. She wasn't trying to kill herself."

I listened to the rest of the story as Alice filled me in silently

Bella seems to be all about extreme sports these days. She has been hanging out with werewolves, young, unpredictable ones at that. Victoria and Laurent also got pretty close to Bella but luckily the werewolves made themselves useful and they managed to protect her. Jacob Black managed to pull her out the water which was the part that I didn't see and I can't understand why that is. We could have avoided this whole mess if I could see the wolves. I told you this would happen if we left Edward.

I nodded in response and I turned to Bella and glared at her. She hadn't kept her promise to me about not doing anything reckless. She smiled at me sheepishly, as she had obviously figured that Alice would let me in on the whole story.

"That's quite a misunderstanding." I murmured answering Alice

"Well you were the one who threw their phone away and didn't bother to get the facts from me." She said not succeeding in keeping her tone neutral.

I knew what was really upsetting her was the fact that there was something that she couldn't see and that wasn't something she was used to and the fact that we might die here today

I glared at Alice; I was way past my usual store of patience.

Just then I felt Bella stop abruptly. I didn't understand why at first but then I saw that we had reached the entrance to the tunnel and the only way to go was down the hole.

"It's alright Bella. Alice will catch you when you reach the end."

She seemed to take comfort from my words and went down reluctantly. I followed shortly afterwards and wrapped my arms around Bella again. This was the closest that we would get to a reunion. We walked like that, clutching each other as if our lives depended on it. I traced the lines of her lips and face as we walked. It felt like I was alive for the first time in months. She was my other half and I knew without a doubt that I would never be strong enough to leave her again. I would be by her side until she ordered me away that was if she still wanted me after all of this. I could hear Felix's impatient thoughts behind me but I ignored them as I was happy to go at a human pace for a change. I pressed my lips to Bella's forehead, hoping that she would know how much I still loved her. I felt her shiver in response. I had completely forgotten about the temperature down here and my skin didn't make it any warmer. I started to pull away but Bella wouldn't let me move an inch. Maybe she did still feel something for me, if she did it was more than I deserved.

"Are you sure, you must be freezing?"

"I'm fine, please don't let go of me." Her voice was barely more than a whisper.

I heard an exaggerated sigh of impatience from behind us again

"Felix are you in some sort of rush?" I growled

"No I just get a little frustrated going at a human pace, it is so boring."

"Well deal with it, we aren't all vampires here."

He was silent for the rest of our journey which I was sure was extremely difficult for him

Alice was getting flickers of the future but they were unclear at this point as there were a lot of factors that could change the outcome. If we made it through this I would be eternally grateful.

Eventually we came into the reception area again and Gianna watched us pile through the huge gold doors. Then I caught on to where they were leading us. Surely if they were leading us to that room, they weren't planning on letting us go. Carlisle had told me about this room where they led their so called food. I wondered how many innocent human lives had been lost here. As we walked through, Aro immediately walked over to join us. He embraced Jane and then turned to smile at us.

"I have first option on the girl." Felix chirped

I whirled around and lunged for him and we both fell to the ground.

"You will not lay a hand on her." I growled

"Edward stop." Alice shouted

I struggled with Felix on the ground ignoring Alice. Before I could inflict any real damage though all of a sudden it felt as If I were burning in a fire. I lay on the ground enduring it in silence. I assumed it was Jane that was doing it to me. I drifted as the fire increased.


	9. Chapter 9

"No Please don't hurt him." Bella screamed.

I wanted to call out to her but I was afraid that if one word was uttered, my control would slip. I was determined not to shout out in pain. There was no way in hell that I would give Jane the satisfaction. I endured Jane's gift in silence and would not allow my suffering to increase her vindictive pleasure in all of this. My main priority was Bella as I would do anything to make sure her and of course Alice got out of here alive.

"Please I am begging you, stop it." Bella whimpered.

I felt her sit next to me then. Her hands felt comforting against my skin.

"Jane dear I think that will be quite enough." Aro crooned

The burning stopped immediately. My breathing returned to normal. I opened my eyes and looked up into Bella's face. I could see the panic in her chocolate brown eyes but now there was a hint of relief in them too.

"Are you alright?" Bella whispered anxiously.

"Yes I am fine." I reassured her, hoping that my voice sounded convincing enough.

I stood up and held Bella close to me again. Glancing around the room I noticed for the first time that Felix had Alice by the neck. He must have grabbed her while I was on the floor. What was going on here?

"Are we your prisoners now?" I said glaring at Aro's smiling face. I resisted the urge to punch him.

"Of course not friend Edward, we just had to restrain Alice for a moment there as we wouldn't want things to get out of control here."

"I would appreciate it if you would tell Felix to let go of Alice, so that we can discuss this properly."

"Of course." Aro sang and he signaled Felix. His arms dropped from Alice's throat immediately.

Bella and I breathed a sigh of relief as Alice massaged her neck. Jasper would never forgive me if anything happened to her. He would come after the Volturi and bring them down on all of us as they would fight back. They wouldn't let us live if we became a threat to their power. They had no idea though at how little we were interested in power. Although Aro should know after being a witness to my thoughts and others that he had heard through me.

"Caius, Marcus don't you just love happy endings. Bella is alive and dear Alice has come for a visit. Edward aren't you thankful now that we didn't end your life as you requested? It's so sad to think that it could have ended so badly."

Is this guy seriously for real, Alice asked silently?

I shrugged my shoulders in response to her question. I had to stop myself from laughing at her and his words. The thing was that this hadn't ended yet. We still didn't know what they were going to do with us. All I could gain from Aro's thoughts was curiosity.

"Yes I am extremely grateful, thank you."

"Now we have to decide what we must do with you?" He mused

He was imagining Alice and me in grey coats by his side. He was fascinated by her visions that he had seen through my thoughts.

"The girl cannot be allowed to leave. She knows our secret." Caius retorted

I growled at him.

"Yes the rest of you are free to leave but the girl stays."

"No way am I leaving her here with you?"

He ignored me and turned to Bella.

"Bella it is simply fascinating to me that Edward cannot read your thoughts. I would love to know if you are immune to us as well."

I noticed the confused look on her face.

"Forgive me but I feel like I know all of you. You see I have a unique gift as well."

I interrupted him

"He can hear any thought that a person has ever had. He just has to touch a person's hand."

"Yes Bella, so I would like to see if the same applies to you. May I touch your hand for idle curiosity's sake?"

"Um sure I guess?" Bella answered, while she looked at me.

I nodded encouragingly. I didn't think that we really had a choice anyway.

I watched Aro take her hand lightly. I tensed as I waited to hear what his reaction would be.

After a few moments, he drew his hand away.

"How funny this all is. I can't hear her thoughts at all. Why don't you give it a try Jane?"

"No." I shouted but before I could do anymore I was on the floor and burning again. I couldn't allow them to hurt her. I thrashed wildly on the ground. Then suddenly it stopped. I watched Bella anxiously and there were no signs that she was any pain. I relaxed a little as it looked like Jane couldn't affect Bella either.

Why can't she feel what I am doing? This has never happened before. Anyone else would have been on the floor.

I laughed silently at her annoyance. Finally Jane stopped and I could stand again.

"Now there are only two options, either the girl's life has to be ended or she has to become one of us." Aro stated

I clenched my fist. Neither of those options were ones that I could live with. I would never want her to become one of us and live a life of darkness and there was no way that I would let them kill her. They would have to come through me first.

"Aro I have seen that Bella will become one of us? Look for yourself." Alice said holding out her hand in invitation. He was at her side at once.

Alice ran through her visions that I had seen before, the ones that I had been so against. There was something that I saw which was interesting to me. Alice ran through a conversation between her and Bella from when they were on the plane. Alice had promised to change her into a vampire. Anger suddenly flared up violently inside me. Alice would never have the restraint to stop when she tasted the blood. I kept calm though; I would wait for my moment and confront both of them.

"I can see, clearly." Aro stated interrupting the room's silence.

"You aren't going to just let them walk out of here, especially her." Caius said glaring at Bella.

I watched her shrink back at his glare

"Brother can't you see the endless possibilities with this girl. There is no question that she will be one of us. We will visit them to make sure that she has been changed, so worry not."

Yes I had no doubt that they would check on all of us in the future but they wouldn't be able to find Bella. Demetri's talent worked inside the mind and that was the only way he would be able to find her. Since Jane or Aro's gifts didn't work on Bella, I doubted that his would.

"Yes you can be assured that we will be checking on the Cullens." Caius said darkly

I nodded silently. I just wanted to get the hell out of here.

"Right you are free to leave in peace but please remain until it is dark." Aro said and I could hear the disappointment in his voice.

"You three wouldn't consider joining us, would you?" He said staring at us hopefully

"No thank you." Alice and I answered in unison

"You want me to join?" Bella asked confused

"Yes I can see the enormous possibilities in you."

I glowered at her. There was way that she would consider joining them, I knew her better than that. At least I hoped I did. I didn't know yet how strong her desire to become one of us was yet.

She looked at my face quickly and then stared at Aro again

"Um, no thank you." She mumbled quietly

He smiled at her answer and then they threw a cloak at me.

"Right go quickly as Heidi will be back soon and we wouldn't want any accidents."

I grabbed Bella by the waist and I heard Alice follow behind me.

"Go well young friends." Aro sang as we left the room.

We were led back to the reception area by Alex.

"We will let you know when you can leave."

"No problem." I answered as he left the room

Edward you better do something with Bella, she is going to pieces.

Just then I looked and saw Bella convulsing with the force of her sobs.

I wrapped my arms around her

"Bella, it is going to be ok." I said soothingly as I led her to the chair and rocked her like a child. We just sat there for a long moment. I just cradled her to my chest as her tears came to a stop slowly. It felt like heaven to have her in my arms again. I didn't know if she even still loved me after the way I had hurt her. If she told me to go away again when we got back to Forks, then I would obey her wishes but my love for her would never change. I didn't have the strength to leave her again unless it was what she wanted.

"I was just so scared that we weren't going to get out of there. I hated when Jane had you on the floor like that. What does she do anyway?" Bella asked as she regained control over herself.

"She can make you feel like you are in pain, even when you aren't really. You feel like you are burning."

"I wonder why she couldn't do that to me?" she wondered

"You can be glad that she can't, it isn't pleasant." I muttered

She smiled sheepishly at me

"Is it wrong of me to feel happy right now?" She sighed

How I wished that I could read her thoughts right now. I wanted to know what was truly going on in her head

"What do you mean?" I asked

"Well the fact that we are together but that we almost didn't make it out of here. I know I should be feeling something different rather than feeling happy to be with you." She whispered

"Yes those are two very good things." I whispered. I kissed her eyes and her cheek but never her lips. I wasn't sure if she was just reacting to the situation and that's why she was happy to be here with me right now but who knew what would happen when we got back. I just had to hope that she would forgive me but if she didn't I would understand. I had hurt her worse than anyone. I could see that now.

"By the way Alice, how did you convince Aro that Bella would become one of us?" I asked

Well you saw what I showed him

"Yes but surely he must know that your visions are according to the decision that people make."

Well I have made my decision Edward. This whole thing has gotten way out of control and you need to stop being so stubborn. Hasn't what happened taught you anything? She will be one of us!

"The future can change." I grumbled

Oh please I am not having this discussion with you again. I will help Bella become one of us.

My jaw tightened

"I will not allow that."

How do you think that you will be able to stop me?

My eyes tightened at her smug thoughts.

I wondered what Jasper would do if Alice didn't make it back.

Alice rolled her eyes at me as the visions flashed through my mind

Edward I am seeing Jasper in less than 24 hours, you won't be doing anything to me. I came to save you; a little more gratitude would be nice.

"You came to fix the mess that you made."

Alice snarled and I chuckled at the cussing out she was giving me in her head.

A couple hours later, we were finally allowed to leave. I stroked Bella's soft cheek and she stirred in my arms.

"We can go now. Are you able to walk?"

I watched annoyance cross her face

"Of course I can walk." She protested

Alice stole us another car so that we could get to the airport. I was wondering if Alice was enjoying grand theft auto just a little too much. We made it to the airport in record time and I could see the exhaustion on Bella's face. I would be glad when I could get her home and into her own bed. Then once she was fully rested, we could talk about everything. Just after we had checked in, I became aware of a strange smell, it wasn't a vampire but it was familiar somehow.


	10. Chapter 10

He stood there with his arms folded across his chest. His eyes were full of hate. I stood in front of Bella protectively.

I am the one who protected her when you left bloodsucker. I would never hurt her the way you did. You have no right to even be near her ever again.

I flinched at his silent thoughts.

"Jacob what are you doing? You can't be here, it is too dangerous." Bella panicked.

His eyes softened when he turned to Bella.

"I am glad to see you are still alive."

"Of course I am. I am with Edward and Alice."

I saw his fists clench as Bella mentioned our names

"They left you before, without a thought for your safety." He spat.

His words cut me deep. If I had any idea that Victoria and Laurent would still pursue Bella after we had done away with James. I would never have left.

"Jacob I thought it would be best for Bella if we left. I did it for her."

"You did it for her; you haven't seen what I have the past few months. You almost killed her." He glowered.

You should have just stayed away. I was helping her to live again

"Yes I know I should have." I answered his silent thoughts

"Jake I came to fetch Edward, in case you forgot."

Bella had guessed his question. She must know him well.

"Yes I know that, but what happens now?"

It is such a pity that the stupid royal vamps had not granted his request

"Well right now we have a flight to catch and I want to get Bella home."

"I wasn't asking you."

I could hear the venom in his voice when he had to speak to me directly. I wondered what was going on between the two of them. Was Bella in love with him? Maybe it was too late for the two of us.

"I don't know Jake. We haven't figured everything out yet." Bella answered looking at me and I could see the questions in her eyes. Yes I knew there was a lot we had to discuss.

"How can you even let them near you after what they did?"

His words were full of centuries of utter disgust that they felt for us.

"Jake it isn't so easy to cut people off. I can't do it."

"Why don't you try at least? Come home with me."

I could see her hesitate. I knew she was worried about hurting any of us. I could tell that even without being able to read her thoughts.

Bella bit her lower lip as she answered him.

"Jake I'm going with them. I don't want to lose our friendship though."

So Bella would rather be around filthy bloodsuckers. Why did I even bother following her here?

"Fine Bella I get it." He said and turned to leave.

There was something that I wanted to say to him but when I looked again he was already gone. I hoped that I would get my chance to thank him.

I could see Bella fighting for control.

"Bella are you sure you want to come with us? You don't owe us anything." I asked hoping that she would really want to come with me.

"Edward Cullen you are not leaving me again and you owe me a conversation." Bella growled

"Of course whatever you want." I answered hiding a smile. I had forgotten how amusing Bella was when she was angry. It was like a kitten trying to be a tiger.

Alice put her arm around her and we walked to the plane.

I didn't take my eyes off Bella's face the entire time. She was so beautiful and I hoped with every fiber of my being that some part of her still loved me. I raised my eyebrows when I noticed Bella sipping a soda

"Are you sure you should be drinking that?"

I remembered what caffeine did to Bella.

"I want to stay awake. If I sleep then all those awful images will fill my mind.'

I nodded in response.

Eventually the flight was over and as we came out of the arrivals lounge. I saw the rest of my family waiting except for Rosalie and Emmett.

"Edward if you ever do that again. I will kill you myself." Esme growled as she pulled me into a hug

She pulled Bella into an embrace as well but I held onto her waist. I couldn't bear to let her go.

"Bella thank you so much. How can we ever repay you?" Esme said softly

Bella smiled timidly

"It was nothing really." Bella answered awkwardly.

I chuckled as her unwillingness to be the centre of attention had not changed one bit.

Carlisle also was truly grateful to her.

I noticed then that Bella was swaying slightly on her feet. She must be exhausted. We needed to get her home and there was still the ominous task of facing Charlie.

I carried most of her weight as we walked towards the cars. I growled when I saw Rose waiting for us. Her thoughts were full of remorse. I stiffened

"Edward not now please." Esme scolded

"I am so sorry." Rose whispered

I feel so terrible about what happened.

"So you should Rosalie." I hissed

Emmett moved protectively in front of Rose

Back off Bro. This doesn't need to turn violent. I will take you on if you try anything.

I raised my eyebrows at his thoughts. Did he really think that he could defeat me when I would just anticipate what move he would make?

"I just want to get home, please." Bella whispered

"Of course, you are dead on your feet."

We rode with Rosalie and Emmett and along the way Bella nodded off against my shoulder. All too soon we were at her home. I hated to let her go but that I wouldn't be Charlie's favorite person right now. I would have to sneak back later as I didn't want to be away from her.

Charlie raced out the house and tried unsuccessfully to pull Bella out of my arms but even semi conscious she clung to me.

"Please don't leave me." Bella whispered as I lay her down on her bed. The familiar purple duvet covers were still on. I felt so comfortable being in her room again. Her room had always been a haven to me. This was a place where we had shared, some of the best moments together.

"I am not going anywhere. I promise you." I said as I kissed her forehead. She was out before I even left the room. I would come back later once Charlie was asleep.

"You are never to set foot in this house again." Charlie warned as I got into the car

I hoped that his anger towards me would calm down, but I knew that I had earned it.

"You are going to have to act like a real vampire and sneak in to see Bella until Charlie allows you in the house again" Emmett chuckled

"I don't even know if Bella will want to see me again." I mumbled sadly.

Of course she will want to you back in her life, she flew half way across the world in the hope of saving you.

"Yes Rose I know that she still cares but I hurt her terribly."

Edward I know she still loves you. I am so sorry that I have been such a jerk about Bella. I will try to be better behaved from now on.

"Thank you Rosalie, I appreciate that."

I will never forgive myself for what I did, which caused you to go to the Volturi.

"It is all over now Rose. Let's just leave it as water under the bridge alright." I said gently.

You are far too kind, thank you.

"No matter what happens, you will always be part of my family Rose."

She smiled in response.

"What conversation am I missing?" Emmett grumbled

"Edward and I were just sorting out a few things." Rose answered

"Good I am glad."

Thank you for not being too hard on her.

I glowered at him. Did he really think so poorly of me? Yes I could get angry but I was a reasonable person most of the time.

I was anxious to get back to Bella but I knew it would be a while before Charlie went to sleep. He was way too tensed up.

When we got back to the house, Alice suggested we go hunting to distract me. It had been a while since I had hunted and it would occupy me for a while.

Alice noticed my preoccupation

Edward you will be with her again in a few hours. You need to hunt.

"Yes I know." I grumbled

There was smugness to her thoughts which irritated me. She had said right from the beginning that I had made a huge mistake when we left Forks. Alice knew that I saw how right she had been about everything. There was nothing that Alice enjoyed more than being right. We stayed close to home and found some elk. It didn't fully satisfy me fully but it helped.

As we were walking back I turned to Alice.

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked casually

I already know what you are going to ask. You want to know why I promised Bella that I would change her myself.

My eyes narrowed and I waited

It's what she wants Edward and I have seen that it will happen.

I shook my head.

Why are you so against it? Isn't Bella allowed a choice in all of this?

"Of course but that isn't the right choice."

Alice rolled her eyes at me

Well I am telling the family what happened anyway as I can see that Bella is going to want us to vote on the issue.

"She can have as many votes as she likes. As long as I am alive Bella will stay human."

We will see in time, her path is still pretty set.

"Do you think she still loves me?" I whispered

"Yes Edward, I don't need my vision to see that." She said gently.

I felt oddly comforted by her words. I looked at the time then and was sure that Charlie would be asleep by now. I ran to her house feeling the wind blowing behind me. It felt great to be running for pleasure again. As I ran I thought of Victoria and how she wouldn't be breathing for much longer. I would take care of her, so that Bella could be free from her sick desire for revenge. I had seen in Alice's thoughts that Victoria would be around again. I would be ready.

Bella slept for a long time and I began to worry that she had slipped into a coma but after what felt like forever she opened her beautiful eyes.

"Hello." I whispered

"Did all that really happen?"

"Yes, I am afraid so."

"So I didn't dream it, you really are here."

"I am here and I am not going anywhere." I said and stroked her cheek gently

Just then tears started falling down her face. I pulled her into my arms and rocked her gently.

"Why are you crying?" I asked confused

"Because I must have drowned right? I can't believe I did that too Charlie." She sobbed

"Bella I wish I could make you see. We are both alive and we made it back from Italy."

"Then why am I not waking up?"

"Because you are already awake and I have been waiting for my chance to talk to you."

I could see the comprehension slowly dawn across her face.

"Charlie?" She gasped

"He is fine but you should know that I have been banned from the house."

"No way, I can't believe he did that.

"Well I hurt his daughter in the worst way possible. I didn't expect a warm welcome from him."

"I will talk to him. So what have you been doing these past few months?"

I was reluctant to answer. I didn't want to tell her about the black hole that I had sunk into since I had left her.

'Nothing too interesting, I only tried my hand at a bit of tracking and hunting." I murmured

"Wow my imagination must be really used up if that is the best I could come up with."

I took a deep breathe

"Bella I came here because there is something that I need to tell you"

"You came here to tell me that you are going to be with Tanya right?" She said sadly

"Bella you silly girl, that couldn't be further from the truth."

I could see the confused look on her face. I took a deep breath, preparing myself to tell her what I had been dying to say.


	11. Chapter 11

Bella looked at me and I could see the pain behind her brown eyes.

"Then what is the truth?" She demanded.

"Bella I have to apologize for everything that I have done to you for the past few months. I owe you much more than that. I had no idea about the mess that you would have to face if I left. I thought you would be better off without us in your life. If I had any clue that Victoria would come after you, I could never have made myself leave."

I watched her face as she listened. It looked as though she was struggling to find the words.

"Edward" She began and I tensed waiting. "You can't feel guilty your whole life because you weren't around to save me. You can't run off to Italy because I might be dead and you couldn't prevent it."

"Do you really think that I went to them because of guilt?" I scoffed

What a ridiculous concept. Didn't she realise why I went there

"Yes that's what I think. You can't do that to your family. I know you take the world on your shoulders but it has to stop."

"Isabella Marie Swan I didn't go to the volturi because of guilt. Yes I felt immensely guilty more than you could ever know but that wasn't the reason."

"I don't understand." She said sadly.

"Bella I can't survive in a world which doesn't have you in it."

She stared at me with a blank expression.

"I am so confused. You left me. You didn't want me. I saw you with that blonde vampire."

I looked deeply into her eyes.

"Bella I lied to you and for you hurting you so much, I will never be able to forgive myself. When I told you that I didn't love you it was not true. I love you and will always love you. Your face was the only thing I saw each moment I was away from you. You made my life brilliant and filled it with color and when I wasn't with you, my life was meaningless. I left my heart here with you. I have been an empty shell. Nothing happened with Tanya. She tried but I set her straight that I don't share her feelings."

Bella gasped and looked at me in shock.

"You are describing my life without you." She said softly "Why didn't you come after me when I saw you with her?"

"I thought it would easier for you to move on if you hated me."

I watched tears pour down her face.

"I knew I was dreaming." She sobbed

I took her into my arms

"Shhh my Bella, I'm here and I love you more than anything and I will never leave you again."

I held her as she sobbed.

"I am the most miserable excuse for a..."

She interrupted me as she was able to speak again.

"Please don't promise me anything."

"You don't believe me do you? I will prove it to you that this is not a dream and that you are awake." I said taking her soft, fragile face in my hands.

"Please don't Edward." She said hesitantly.

I paused as a sense of dread washed over me. Maybe she had moved on as I wanted her too. Maybe I just had hurt her beyond repair.

"Why? Is it because I'm too late? Do you no longer love me?"

"Don't be absurd."

"Please just tell me Bella, its fair if you have moved on."

"Edward how I feel about you is unchangeable. I will never stop loving you."

That was all I need to hear as my lips met hers and I felt whole again. There was only the two of us merged as one. This kiss wasn't like the others. I felt that I didn't have to struggle with her scent so much anymore. Having lived through so many hours thinking I had lost her forever had me shy away from that instinct, which craved her blood, completely. I still had to be extremely careful as she was incredibly breakable in my hands but I could kiss her without having to worry about the one side of it. The kiss was filled with every unspoken word between the two of us and if I had a heart it would have beaten stronger than ever before as I felt her in my arms again. I held her face against mine and we were lost in the moment. After a while we pulled apart and I lay my ear against her heart, the most beautiful sound in my world.

"So tell me who you were tracking?" She said with the knowing look in her eyes when she saw right through me.

I should have known that Bella wouldn't let it go.

"I tried going after Victoria for a while. I never expected her to be a danger to you but I wanted to be sure anyway."

Panic shot across her face.

"You went after Victoria?" She gulped

"Yes I wasn't going to leave anything to chance but I wasn't very good at it. I was on the wrong continent even. I traced her too Texas and then lost the trail. She won't be around for much longer though not after her coming after you. I still owe the wolves for Laurent."

"Haven't you just promised to not leave me? Now you want to run after Victoria." She glowered.

"I will keep my promise but I will protect you from Victoria."

"Well let's just stay calm as I have bigger problems than Victoria."

"Yes I suppose the werewolves are a problem."

"I wasn't talking about them."

"What could be a bigger problem than Victoria then?" I asked dryly

"Well it's actually the second greatest problem."

"Well what's the second greatest problem then?"

"Alice promised the Volturi that I would become one of you. They will come to check that I have been changed."

"Bella you don't have to worry about that, they don't measure time the same way we do. It might be years before they decide to check."

"You aren't seriously going to bring the Volturi down on your family over something as stupid as leaving me human? You're just going to let me get old" She said and I saw the angry tears at the edge of eyes.

"Bella it won't matter, my feelings will never change no matter how old you are."

"I'm going to die eventually." She whispered

"I will follow soon after you."

"That is ridiculous Edward." She muttered angrily

"Bella it's the only choice that is left for me now, I won't live without you but I will not destroy your soul by allowing you to become one of us.

"Ok let's think about this. The Volturi will check on me even if it is after a few years."

"Yes but I have a few plans to protect you."

"And these plans all involve me staying human." She scoffed

"Yes of course." I said carefully. I could see her anger boiling over.

Bella jumped out of bed and started searching in the dark for something. It was most likely her shoes. I handed them to her.

"Where are you going?" I asked amused

"Well this isn't just about you anymore Edward Cullen. You are not the centre of the universe you know. I am going to your house."

"If you take your truck it will wake Charlie up." I said

"Well I'm all ears, if you have any better ideas."

"Let's just stay here."

"Nice try but sorry that won't work."

I stopped Bella as she headed for the door and when I blocked her way there she went for the window. I gave in with poor grace.

"Fine I will take you there."

"Yes well you probably should be there as you will want to air your views I'm sure. You are really opinionated"

"My views on which subject exactly?" I asked feigning ignorance.

"My mortality, I'm putting it to a vote. Your family deserves a say."

This conversation had not gone the way I had wanted to. I didn't want to take anything away from Bella. I wanted so much more than this for her. I knew how stubborn she was though and I would have to try come up with ways to delay her. I couldn't understand why she was so ready to become like us. I took her into my arms and jumped out the window.

"Up you go then." I said with a sigh.

Just as Bella climbed up I stiffened as I heard him approach. He was acting as spokesperson for the pack.

"Hello Jacob." I said politely.

He didn't answer me.

He was bitter about seeing the two of us together.

"Jake." Bella said in surprise.

I set Bella on her feet.

"Hi Bella."

"I'm so glad to see you Jake."

"I thought I might catch you alone; guess I should have known you would be with him." He said bitterly.

_After he almost destroyed you?_

'Jake it doesn't have to be like this, we can still be friends right."

"I'm sorry Bella but I don't think it will work. I have tried to keep my promise. There is just too much in our way right now."

"Jake please." Bella said moving towards him.

I held her back by her waist. Werewolves were dangerous and unpredictable and it made me nervous to have him anywhere near her. There was a bond between the two of them that I wasn't exactly sure about.

"Bella I can't exactly hang out with my mortal enemy, speaking of which." He said glaring at me. I stared him down. I wasn't intimidated by this pup. I was extremely grateful to him but I wasn't going to let his hatred affect me.

"Jacob before you say anything, I want to tell you how grateful I am to you and the wolves for keeping Bella alive when I wasn't here. I will owe you for the rest of my existence."

"Well to be honest I didn't do it for you. "

"Yes I know but that doesn't take away the gratitude that I feel."

_You don't deserve her. You left her broken. How can you even look at yourself in the mirror? Why don't you just go back where you came from? I love her and will be better for her._

I growled at his thoughts. A snarl built up in my chest. Bella was mine! I maneuvered myself into a crouch. Jacob beckoned for me to come

Bring it on bloodsucker. I watched his shape blur as she changed into a wolf. I lunged for him but Bella moved in-between the two of us.

"Stop it please." She begged glaring at the both of us.

I didn't move a muscle as I waited to see what the pup did.

"Jake and Edward calm down please."

Bella put a hand on each of our chests.

"I'm not moving, so if you want to fight, I will be here in the middle. I won't allow you to hurt each other."

I relaxed out of my crouch and took her hand to stop myself from hurting him.

I would never hurt like you he accused me before he disappeared into the trees.

"Jake wait please." Bella sobbed.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, he has gone."

I watched as she got control over herself.

"Ok let's go." She said when the sobs had subsided. She twisted out my arms and I lifted her onto my back again. I wondered about if there was something more than I was aware of between the two of them. They both seemed to be in a lot of pain. Maybe it would have been better if I had stayed away. Bella rested her chin on my shoulder as I ran. As she kissed my neck I forgot about my jealousy and just enjoyed the pleasure of her lips against my skin. We had a few problems that we would need to sort out but none of that mattered right now as I was lost in the moment with my Bella.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hey Guys here is chap 12 :)**

**I hope you enjoy it :) I have a few plans for this story. I am following the book but I have a few secrets of my own haha :)**

**Please review for me :)**

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I could tell that Bella was still upset after the whole confrontation with Jacob. I didn't like him at all as I surmised that he had fallen for Bella and if I was being honest with myself I was jealous. I would not lose Bella to a wolf. I did owe him everything though for keeping her safe for me when I had not. I paused for a moment.

"Bella are you alright?" I asked feeling anxious.

'I'll be fine." She murmured.

"Why don't I believe that?" I scoffed. I knew her face to well even after being away from it for longer than had been bearable for me.

"No truly I will be. I was just thinking that this all still feels like a dream to me."

"Bella it isn't, this is all real. I am really back and I love you more than you could ever comprehend."

"It never made sense for you to love someone like me."

"Don't you trust that I will never leave you again?" I asked raising my eyebrows. How was I ever going to get through to her?

I wish there was some way I could make her see that I was incapable of leaving her again. No matter how many good reasons I had to stay out of her life. The only way I could live was with her and there were too many excuses for me not to leave.

'It is myself that I don't trust. I feel as if I'm not enough to hold you."

"Your hold is unlike any other Bella. It is permanent and unbreakable. Please believe that." I said taking her hand in mine.

She didn't look me in the eyes.

"I guess deep down I always knew that you had not stopped caring about me. I think that's why I heard your voice whenever I was doing something reckless and stupid. You were there still protecting me, even in your absence."

I kissed her forehead gently.

"I can't believe that you were doing extreme sports, as you call it, just to hear my voice." I grumbled.

"Well it was the only time that it was bearable for me to think of you."

"How will I ever make up for the huge mistake I made by leaving you?" I asked sadly staring at our twined hands.

She lifted her free hand, pulling my face up with a soft touch.

"You are here with me now, you came back. That is all that matters to me. I just have to be with you. I love you Edward."

"I love you too and I promise that unless you order me away, I am yours forever."

"I wouldn't hold your breath for that one anytime soon." She laughed "We better get to your house as I think Charlie will be up soon."

It was so beautiful to hear her laughter again. I had missed hearing it.

I picked her up again and Alice was waiting for us outside the house. She obviously knew exactly what we were doing here at this time of the morning.

"I told them everything Bella." Alice chirped enthusiastically.

"That's great, thank you so much Alice."

I glowered at Alice.

"Why would you promise her that you would turn her into a vampire?" I grumbled.

"Oh give it a rest Edward. It IS going to happen and nothing that you do will prevent it."

Alice disappeared before I could say anything else or throttle her. Sometimes her smugness got on my nerves. Yes we all knew what a convenient talent it was that Alice had but it made Alice over confident sometimes when there were things that I was hoping wouldn't happen in the future. I held Bella's hand as we walked into the house.

I called everybody downstairs.

"Hello Bella, it is so nice to see you. I take it you are here for something more than just a social visit?" Carlisle chuckled.

He silently asked me what this was all about but I just shook my head.

"Yes I am here as there is something rather important that I would like to discuss with you all."

I fought back a laugh, Bella was being so formal. I guessed that she must be a little nervous.

"Of course, we can all meet in the dining room." Carlisle answered gesturing towards the next room.

We followed him in and found the rest of the family already waiting for us.

Bella swallowed nervously as she stood at the head of the table. I knew the centre of attention wasn't a place that Bella had ever been comfortable with. I held her hand under the table hoping that it would help to reassure her.

"Right everyone." She began "I called you here as what happened in Volterra is not a good thing and I am not prepared to risk you all over it. Alice told you everything. I am asking you to vote on whether you would accept me into your family. So it's yes or no on me becoming a vampire. If you don't agree with what I want then I will go to Volterra alone as I will not let them come here."

"Wait" I interrupted "We have another option. There is something that I thought of. Demetri won't be able to track Bella as he needs to get inside the mind to find a person. We can just hide Bella when Alice gives us warning that they are sending someone to check." I said feeling proud of my infallible logic. If there was a way to keep Bella's soul intact then I would try that way first.

I heard a growl coming from Bella.

"They will still be able to track all of you."

"Well we can take care of ourselves." Emmett and I explained as we both thought the same way.

"No I will not allow it." Bella protested "It is idiotic to bring the Volturi down on your family just to keep me human."

She was glowering at me now. Her anger made me want to laugh.

"Bella you don't have to worry, you will be perfectly safe and nothing will happen to us."

I could see her fighting to control her temper.

"Fine there is another side for you to consider. Please vote." She said with an edge to her voice.

Bella looked at me pointedly; obviously I was going to go first.

"Bella I do want you as part of my family but not that way."

She nodded and continued on to Jasper

I knew his answer before he even said it. He was on Bella's side.

"Yes Bella, I vote for you to become a vampire." He answered.

It would be a relief to not have to fight her delicious scent all the time. I kicked him under the table.

Bella was a little surprised at his response but she moved on to Alice then. I sighed as I knew exactly what Alice's choice was. I had not finished discussing that with her.

"Bella I already think of you as a sister, so of course my answer is yes." She said and smiled smugly at me.

She nodded and turned to Rosalie.

"My vote is yes." Rosalie said and there was a shocked murmur as she gave her answer.

What??? Rosalie was voting yes for Bella to become a vampire. I tried to decipher her reasons in her thoughts. Bella paused for a moment after that absorbing the fact that Rosalie who she thought hated her, was siding with her. I knew how Bella had always believed that Rosalie disliked her. I had to admit that I was taken aback by her vote as I knew that Rosalie had never taken to Bella like the rest of my family.

Bella fought back her shocked reaction and waited to Esme's answer

"Of course dearest Bella, you are already part of the family. Finally it was Carlisle who had to give his answer.

Edward I have too.

"No!" I growled. I stalked out of the room. I needed to punch something. My whole family was against me. They were condoning taking Bella's soul. I found the TV and I knew it would be no match for my strength. I picked it up and threw it down on the floor. I would replace it; right now I didn't care what anyone thought. I heard Bella thanking them for their vote.

"Ok Alice where should we do this?" I heard Bella ask.

I took in Alice's shocked gasp.

I flew back into the room.

"Are you out of your mind Bella?" I shouted.

Bella cringed away but continued to glare at Alice.

"Alice you promised."

"Bella I am not sure if I will be able to stop."

"Alice I trust you."

"No Bella I need some time to prepare."

There was no way I was going to allow Alice to test herself on Bella.

"How about Carlisle then?" Bella challenged.

"No Bella, I don't want that for you."

"Yes Bella there would be no problem for me." He said ignoring my temper.

"Ok let's think about this for a minute. Charlie will call the police any minute now when he realises you are gone. How about we talk about this again after graduation? You can't just disappear on Charlie like that. We need to get you home."

I could see her face frown and the reluctant acceptance fall across her face. She could see my logic.

"Fine but graduation is my limit Do I have your word Carlisle?"

"Yes I am giving you my word."

"Alright then you may take me home."

I could see that Bella felt powerful after the vote. I wanted to get her out of here before anyone else in my family could promise her something. As we got nearer the house I froze. Charlie's thoughts were manic. He was awake.

"Bella I better warn you Charlie is awake and he is waiting for you and when he sees that I am with you, he will most likely have a few choice words to say to me."

"Oh crap." Bella whimpered.

As we got near to the front door, it flew open. Charlie's face was purple. He was beyond mad.

"Get away from her. Bella you are grounded and you are not leaving this house except for school." He shouted.

I placed Bella gently on her feet and I started walking away.

Bella went after me

"No wait please." She begged.

"I will be back just now, love." I said so that only she could hear.

I saw her whole body relax then and she went inside with Charlie.

"You are in huge trouble young Lady." I heard Charlie fume as I hid in the forest waiting for him to finish his tirade.

"Dad I had to explain things to Edward's family." She protested.

"Well he is never to set foot through this door again." Charlie growled.

I cringed at the hostility in his voice. I had a feeling that he wouldn't forgive me easily for hurting his daughter the way I had.

"Dad everything was a misunderstanding. You are going to have to realise that Edward and I are a package deal. Please go easy on him."

"Not under my roof."

"Well then Dad when would you to move out today or can I have a few days to pack?"

He sighed loudly.

"No I don't want you to leave." He murmured.

"I don't want to either but you have to let me make my own choices here alright." She said gently.

"Fine but do not expect me to welcome him with open arms." He muttered "Get inside please as you are grounded for the rest of your life. I am going fishing, it is nice weather today."

I waited till he was a little way away and then I was on Bella's bed. I was faster than her and beat her there.

"Oh you are already here." She smiled happily.

"I am. Charlie doesn't like me very much anymore." I said sadly.

"He doesn't understand everything, he will come around."

"I guess I deserve that sort of treatment after what I did."

"Look Edward I have forgiven you for that and all that matters as I said is that you are here. I will have to start preparing Charlie for after graduation."

"Speaking of that I was wondering is there any possibility that you would give me a little time before you become like me."

I watched her eyes narrow.

"No graduation is my limit."

"Alright fine then. Ok besides becoming eternally damned what would do you want more than anything else?" I asked wondering if she would guess the direction I was heading in.

"Well I would want you to change me rather then Carlisle."

"Then I just have one condition."

"Which is?" She asked with suspicion in her voice.

"Marry me, Bella." I said staring at her face the whole time.

Bella stared at me in shock and was silent.

I smiled at her innocently.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:**

**Here we go guys.**

**Thanks for all the reviews that have been left for this story so far, I really appreciate your reviews. I have a lot planned for this story lol.**

**Please review thanks**

* * *

I watched Bella. She bit her lip trying to hide her shock I assumed.

"I am only eighteen." She managed to whisper.

"Well I am a little older than that and I think it's time for me to settle down." I smirked.

I was enjoying this. Maybe this could be a win, win for both of us. Bella would get immortality which I was very unhappy about giving her and I could get Bella officially to belong to me. I thought that this could turn out to be the only way I could Bella to agree to this.

Bella stared down at her fingers and refused to look me in the eye.

"Ok I will give you eighteen months then, but that is my limit. I promise you that I won't change before then." She pleaded.

I smiled and shook my head. This might be my only chance and I was going to grab it.

"No Bella, I really like this condition. I am sticking by it. If you want me to be the one who changes you, then you have to marry me first." I said touching her cheek gently. There was nothing that I wanted more, than Bella becoming my wife. If I was being honest with myself, I had another underlying motivation for asking Bella to marry me. Besides the fact that I loved her more than anything in this world, I had not been oblivious to the consequence of Jacob. I could see some connection between the two of them. I knew that I had to deal with what my leaving had caused but I couldn't help the jealousy that tore through me. Bella was the reason for my existence and I would not lose her to some pup. I would be forever grateful for the dogs' protection and for helping Bella to stay sane during my absence. I would fight as hard as I was capable of for her and it would not be a fair fight.

"Edward there is no way that I could face the town and the gossip my getting married so young would cause."

"What does that matter, when we love each other?" I pressed.

"Do you really think that makes a difference, people are going to assume that I am pregnant?"Bella groaned and pulled the duvet over her face.

I gently pulled it off.

"Bella, I want to see your beautiful face." I murmured.

"I will do anything else." Bella begged.

"You might think that I have a soul, but I am not entirely convinced on that point. I am taking a huge risk here with your beautiful soul and I want something in return. I want to do this the right way."

"You are a monster." Bella griped.

"I guess that's why you won't agree to marry me." I chuckled. I was really having fun with this, as I knew if I had gone with the whole traditional proposal, it would have scared Bella even more than she was right now at the thought of marriage.

Bella stayed silent, so I spoke again.

"Should I have gotten a ring?"

Maybe I should have stuck with that traditional part at least.

"No please, I don't want a ring." Her voice rose in panic.

"Fine no ring then."

I took her face in my hands and kissed her softly on the lips.

"Won't you even consider my offer, even just a little?" I murmured against her lips.

Her heart beat frantically.

"Right now I can't even breathe, yet alone think." She stuttered.

I started to pull away.

'Hey I wasn't finished with you yet." Bella grumbled.

"Miss Swan I am yours. You don't have to give me an answer today but that is my offer and I think that it makes a nice compromise."

"Yes I'm sure you do, I will take it under advisement."

Our lips were suddenly very busy.

Later that night as I waited for Charlie to go to sleep so that I could sneak in again, I made my way home. I thought maybe Alice or Emmett would be up for some hunting as I needed to pass the time. Alice was waiting for me as the house came into view.

_I will come with you, I feel quite thirsty. _

The huge smug smile on her face tipped me off, there was another reason that she wanted to come with me. I sighed as I read her thoughts.

"Well come on then, let's get this over with."I grumbled.

I was anxious to get back to Bella as I knew that she was still unsure of me staying. I knew it would take some time for her to trust that I was here forever. Alice kept up with me easily as we ran deeper into the forest. Alice's thoughts were all over the place.

_I can't believe you asked her Edward, I am so happy right now. We can do the wedding here and it will be the perfect day for you both, I will make sure over it._

"Hey slow down there; she hasn't given me an answer yet."

_Oh Bella will come around I'm sure. You could have been a bit more romantic about it though. She is the love of your life after all._

I glared at her. Her smugness irritated me sometimes.

"Believe me Bella would not have handled an over the top, romantic proposal. I would have chased her away completely."

_Yes I guess you are right, Bella would have really freaked out._

"I don't know if she wants to marry me though." I said sadly.

_Edward, Bella loves you. Just give her a little time to come to terms with the idea._

"No there was something more to her hesitation though. I couldn't figure out what it was though."

I am sure it's just some issues with the idea of marriage.

"Can't you see anything definite in her future?" I asked grasping for anything as I hated feeling uncertain about Bella's feelings for me. I knew that it would be impossible for me to live without her but if she ordered me away I would respect her wishes. I knew that Bella had told me that she had forgiven me and that she still loved me but what if she loved Jake more and was unsure how to tell me.

_You know that I can't see Bella clearly; I am only seeing her better now that I'm really concentrating in case Victoria comes back. I really don't think you need to doubt her feelings so much._

"Yes I'm sure you are right. Thank you for coming with me tonight. You are the only one who tolerates me when I'm like this." I said ruffling her hair.

_It's my pleasure, yes you wouldn't get the same insight from Emmett or Rose for that matter._

We found a couple of mountain lions. Our strike was swift and painless for the unsuspecting beasts.

Once we had our fill, we made our way back to the house.

I didn't follow Alice inside as it was late now and I was sure that Charlie would be asleep. I was impatient and I wanted to get back to my Bella. Well at least I hoped that she was my Bella. The window was open and I slid in easily.

"Edward." Bella whispered in the darkness.

"Yes I'm here."

Bella searched for my hand.

"I missed you."

I chuckled

"I missed you too."

"Why didn't you come earlier, it felt like you were away forever." Bella grumbled.

"Well I had to wait until Charlie was asleep."

"Yes I suppose you had to, your knack for being able to sneak in and out of windows silently is quite useful actually." Bella laughed.

"True it has become very handy since I met you."

"So where were we?"

"Well I gave you my condition and you haven't given me an answer." I said raising my eyebrows.

Bella shifted nervously.

"Edward there is something that I have to tell you."

I didn't like the sound of this. I kept my face free of any reaction.

"Yes." I urged.

Maybe this was the part when Bella would tell me that she couldn't marry me.

"Um." Bella hesitated "before I say anything, you need to stay calm for me please." She said taking my face in her hands.

"I promise that I will try my best."

Bella took a deep breath. Her heart was going really fast again.

"I wanted you to know something that happened while you were away." Bella began. "Jacob asked me to marry him."

I couldn't talk. The words were almost a blur. Had I really heard her right? The dog had proposed! Seems as if her were fighting harder than I had originally thought.

The words hung in the silent air between us. I pinched the bridge of my nose. This was my worst nightmare.

"Please say something." Bella pleaded.

"What did you want me to say?" I finally croaked.

"We became close while you were away and he loves me."

"Did you give him an answer?"

I wanted desperately for her to tell me, but part of me was so scared that she had said yes.

"Yes I did, I told him no. Edward I do love him. I mean when you left it broke me completely. I was a mess and Jacob helped me. With him I found that I could manage to get through a day but still I knew that I would never be completely whole again. Yes near the end there was a moment where I thought maybe a little piece of me could try and make Jacob happy. I thought that you would have wished that for me as you had left and didn't want me anymore. When he asked me to marry him, I realised how strong his feelings were for me. I knew then that I would never be able to betray my heart like that. I knew that I would never love him enough. Edward you took everything with you the day you left."

I was too angry to really hear her words.

I got up and walked towards the window.

"Edward please, don't leave me again." Her voice was barely more than a whisper. I could hear the unconcealed pain behind her plea. "I love you."

I stopped short at the window.

I could the sobs that were making her whole body tremble.

I was at her side in an instant and I held her in my arms.

"Bella I will not leave you, I promise. This is one promise I will never break again. I was just going to go clear my head for a bit. That was quite a confession to take in. I love you so much."

I kissed her tears away and her forehead and then I found her lips. I wasn't as careful with this kiss as I usually was as I needed her as much as she needed me. I obviously couldn't go too far as Bella was a vampire and I still had to keep some sort of control over myself. I just wanted her to feel how much I loved her.

"Wow that was um nice." Bella said breathlessly.

I smiled smugly.

"So now finish the story, what did Jacob do when told him?"

"He said that he understood and that we could carry on being friends and that he would give me as much time as I needed. I need to go see him as he is really hurting right now. I am responsible for his pain and I have to do something."

"Werewolves are too dangerous Bella. I know what it feels like to think that you were gone forever and I won't tolerate any dangerous activities." I said narrowing my eyes.

"Hanging with werewolves I wouldn't consider a dangerous activity at all." She scoffed. "Besides this is just because of what happened. Edward I have told Jake where I stand. He will respect my choice. You have nothing to worry about."

"Werewolves are unpredictable Bella and Alice can't see them. How anxious do you think that makes me? I need to know that you are safe."

"I will be with them. I need to help, I owe him so much."

"I will not allow you to risk your life, just to comfort a dog."

Bella flinched at my words.

"This conversation is not over." Bella grumbled.

'Yes it is." I growled.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:**

**Here is chap 14 guys :)****I really hope you enjoy :)**

**Happy Holidays**

**Have a wonderful one :)**

**Please review thanks**

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Bella tried numerous times to convince me that it would be perfectly safe for her to hang out with the wolves. I would not budge on the point though. I knew what had happened to Emily and I would not be able to control my rage if anything like that happened to Bella. Every time she started to bring up the wolves, I cut her off. I tried to get Bella interested in going to college, as I thought it would be a nice experience for her. Over the past few weeks I had made her fill out as many applications as possible. Bella was quick to remind me that there was no point to this exercise as she was anticipating being in no fit condition to be around humans. Her plan was still to have Carlisle change her as soon as graduation was over. There still was no decision on my marriage proposal but I knew how much Bella wanted me to be the one who turned her into one of us. I was remaining patient as I had waited over a hundred years for her. I could afford to wait a little longer, until she was ready. These days I was allowed in Bella's house again, during Charlie's designated visiting hours. I understood that it would be a while before Charlie trusted me again, so it failed to worry me that much. I was in every class with Bella and I snuck into her room at night which we didn't feel the need to confess to Charlie as we weren't up to anything that Charlie wouldn't approve of. There was no way that I would take that type of risk with her. It was becoming harder for me to suppress my hunger for her. The blood that had been like a drug to me before I thought I had lost her; well it didn't unhinge me as much anymore. That was a huge relief but there were other hungers that were brimming at the surface, which were much more forceful than before. I was a man after all, even if for the most part I was a soulless monster. I wanted to feel Bella's bare skin against mine and to be able to fully give myself to her. I imagined how soft and warm her skin would feel as I trailed my fingers across her body.

Emmett interrupted my thoughts.

"Bro, what are you thinking about?" Emmett asked amused "It seemed as if you were really concentrating on something there."

"Nothing." I muttered.

"No fair you get into everyone else's head and yet you won't allow us into yours."

"Believe me you don't want to be in my head." I said laughing.

I was waiting for when I was officially allowed to visit Bella. This was the time of day that went by too slowly for my liking. The part when I had to drop Bella off after school and then spend the afternoon without her.

"Where is Rose by the way?" I asked.

"I don't know, why are you asking me?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Well she is your wife."

Alice walked in then.

"Rose is in the garage, working on her precious car."

I heard a hiss come from the garage; Rose didn't like us showing any disrespect to her car. I walked there to find her feet sticking out from under the M3.

"What do you want Edward?" She asked warily.

"I wanted to ask you something." I said innocently.

"Wouldn't you have already heard the answer in my head?" She grumbled.

"Not unless you think it." I muttered getting sick of her attitude as usual.

She sighed.

"What did you want to ask?"

"I want to know why you said yes to Bella becoming a vampire. I thought out of everyone that you would be on my side."

"How did I know you weren't going to let this go?"

"Please Rosalie, I want to know."

Believe me my first instinct was to say no as this isn't a life I would have chosen and I still don't understand how Bella could choose it so easily but then after what I did to the two of you it made me think. Its Bella's choice and I can see how much she loves you and I won't stand in the way of that."

I looked at her in awe; there was a heart in Rose after all. I had never known Rose to be unselfish like this.

"Thank you, I agree that Bella shouldn't become one of us though, but she is pretty set on her course."

Later I arrived at Bella's house armed with more applications, one being for Dartmouth.

I smiled as Bella opened the door and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw me. Her beauty never failed to affect me.

"Hi, how was your afternoon?" I asked brushing my fingers across her cheek.

"Extremely slow and yours?"

"Same here." I said smiling.

How had I ever survived without seeing her face for those darkest months of my life? She was everything to me.

We gathered in the kitchen and I gave her some more applications to fill out.

Then I caught Charlie's thoughts. He had given Bella parole. I had been sure that he would keep her housebound for the remainder of the school year. That was interesting. It would be nice to get out a little with Bella.

"Haven't I filled out enough applications?" Bella grumbled.

"You need to have some more enthusiasm Bella. You should enjoy the human experiences while you can."

'I can have these experiences after I have been changed." She challenged.

"They won't be human experiences anymore then." I growled.

"Edward, I'm..."

I cut her off as Charlie was coming.

"Hello Charlie." I said politely.

"He grunted hello.

I wondered how long it would be before he would forgive me.

"So Bella and I were discussing college and I was wondering. Have you been accepted anywhere yet?" he asked casually.

"Yes I have been accepted at Harvard, Syracuse, Dartmouth and I got accepted into the University of Alaska South East today."

"Wow that's impressive. You wouldn't consider Alaska South East when you could go to Dartmouth or Harvard. I'm sure your father would want you to go..."

I interrupted

"Carlisle is fine with anywhere I choose to go."

"Guess what Edward?" Bella said grinning.

"What Bella?"

"I got accepted to the University of Alaska South East too."

We grinned stupidly at each other.

Charlie rolled his eyes.

"Remember 9.30 Bella." He said as he started to walk out the kitchen.

"Dad haven't we just had a discussion about my freedom." Bella griped.

"Fine then, 10.30."

"Bella is free." I said feigning surprise.

"Yes and what's that to you?"

"Well I know Alice has been itching for a shopping partner. It will be nice for Bella to get out for a bit."

"Not Seattle." Charlie thundered.

"Dad what's the problem?"

"There have been some homicides in Seattle and I don't want you anywhere near there."

"Of course I wouldn't want Bella anywhere near Seattle either."

Charlie sighed in relief. He left to go watch the football game.

I saw the newspaper on the kitchen counter and I grabbed it.

My eyes narrowed as I read the story. There was definitely a new born vampire in Seattle. Had they not heard about the Volturi? I would have to let Carlisle know. I was reluctant to get involved as this was the Volturi's job. It unnerved me though that it was so close to us.

"Edward I agree that I need to go through the motions for Charlie's sake but I won't be in any condition to go to college."

"Bella" I started.

"No Edward I'm not arguing about this anymore. I have made my choice. I want to be a monster too."

"You have no idea what you are talking about." I muttered and handed the newspaper to her.

"A newborn vampire is doing this?" She gasped.

"Yes you would be surprised how often it's my kind behind horrible things that happen in your world."

"Edward I know it won't be easy but I know that you will help me. You will stop me from doing anything I regret."

"So Alaska it is then with penguins." I grimaced.

Bella nodded and turned her attention back to the applications

She scoffed

"Dartmouth Edward, please be serious."

"Why not? You would like Dartmouth and there are night courses available for me. There is also plentiful wildlife around that area."

"No I'm sending the first semester's tuition to Alaska tomorrow."

"Please just fill it out." I reasoned.

"You know what I don't think I will." She said and I could see her hands trying to grab the application so that she could throw it away. I picked it up before she could touch it.

"What are you doing?"

"I sign your name better than you do anyway."

"Edward you are going way overboard with this." She grumbled "Besides the only way I'm getting in is with an enormous bribe. Are you going to donate a Cullen wing? Why are we having this conversation again?"

"Bella I want you to have these human experiences."

"Edward you have to be reasonable with the timing. It is just too dangerous for me to stay human."

"Bella there is no danger yet. There is no hurry. I will not let anyone hurt you."

"No Edward I'm not waiting any longer."

"Bella being a monster like me has its consequences as you saw with those murders in Seattle."

"I know that it won't be the same for me. You can take me to Antarctica if it becomes necessary,"

"Yes the food choices are wonderful there." I murmured sarcastically.

"So you agree then, Alaska as planned. Where there are grizzlies galore."

"Yes I suppose the food options are more appealing there. The wolves tend to get quite large."

Bella let out a gasp and I realised what had upset her.

"Oh forgive me if the idea of the wolves is offensive to you."

"He was my best friend Edward, of course it upsets me."

Bella bit her lip anxiously.

I lifted her chin up gently with my hand.

"I'm so sorry Bella; I didn't mean to upset you."

"Don't worry about it. The thing is I was thinking about Jacob before you came."

I pinched the bridge of my nose to control my anger.

"Bella this is not open to discussion."

"Edward I have to see him. It's one of Charlie's conditions anyway. He is hurting in the worst way and it is entirely my fault."

"Bella you have done nothing wrong."

"Edward please I really want to make it better for him. I owe him that."

"Bella I know how strongly you feel about this but to risk your safety just to comfort a dog. We can't protect you when you are on their land. If one of us crosses the line, the war between the wolves and the vampires will erupt. Did you want that to happen?" I said shaking my head.

"No, obviously I wouldn't want that."

"Then what's the point of this discussion?"

"The point is that you all need to get over this whole werewolf and vampires are mortal enemies' nonsense and I have to be there for Jacob." She muttered.

In an effort to try and distract her, I thought of a subject change. It was hard for me to hear Jacob's name when he had sewn up the hole that I had left in Bella when I had decided to leave.

"I'm really glad that you are getting out finally, as you really need some new books to read."

I had noticed the battered copy of Wuthering heights on the table.

"I love this book." Bella said curtly

"You should know it off by heart now."

"We don't all have a photographic memory." She said pouting.

"Yes well I still don't understand why that book appeals to you so much. The characters ruin each other's lives."

"You have some serious issues with the classics." She snapped.

"That may be but honestly why do you read it over and over?"

"I guess.... that it's the inevitably of it. Nothing can keep them apart."

"Shouldn't they at least have one redeeming quality though? That would make the story a little better."

"The point is I think that their love is their one redeeming quality."

"Well I hope you have better sense than Cathy to fall in love with someone like that."

"Well it's a little late for me to worry about who I fall in love with. I think I have managed fairly well."

I laughed.

"Well I'm glad that you think so."

Bella got up and walked around the table. I held my arms open for her.

"Edward I need to see Jacob."

I groaned, not this again.

"Please just listen."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Hey guys here is chap 15**

**Please review and let me know what you think.**

**I think only one person is still reading this story, maybe I should stop this story lol.**

**Thanks for all the support Laura! It means so much.**

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**Thanks**

* * *

"Bella I hear you, truly I do but your safety is my priority. I just need you to keep yourself out of danger. I'm doing all I can but I would really appreciate a little help here." I said staring intently into her eyes. I knew that was one way to soften her.

"I will do all I can too." She murmured quietly.

"I can't believe that your bad luck has bought an entire pack of wolves out of extinction. If we bottled your luck, we would have a lethal weapon on our hands."

"Ha-ha you are hilarious. It's not me that bought them out again, it's the vampires."

I was a little taken aback by her declaration.

"Hmmm that is an interesting theory." I mused.

"Edward, it's more than just a theory. Look at the facts, last time you were here the wolves came and you are back now and the wolves are here again too."

Wow that certainly was something to think about. Our existence was causing a giant pack of werewolves to come back into existence. They must hate us even more because of that. I know that Jacob still had a lot of bitterness in him because of all of this.

"I must mention your theory to Carlisle; he will be very interested in it."

Bella rolled her eyes at me calling it a theory again.

"So do I have your word that you help me to keep you safe?" I asked.

"I will Edward."

"Meaning no werewolves..."

"I can't go along with that."

Then I will have to stop you." I said having no doubt that I would be able to. "Do you have any idea of what you mean to me? Of how much I love you?"

"Well I know how much I love you."

"You compare a small tree to the entire forest." I murmured as I brushed my lips on her lips and breathed in her scent.

That night I mentioned Bella's theory to Carlisle and he said that it was very possible. He was very interested in studying the wolves and their role in the supernatural. We didn't get to talk for long as Carlisle had to get to the hospital.

The next day Bella was in an exuberant mood. I figured it must have something to do with Charlie giving her parole and school coming to an end. I wasn't particularly eager for graduation to get here as I knew that Bella was determined to be changed by Carlisle as soon as it was over. I was still hoping to delay her for a little while. We joined Angela, Ben and Alice at the lunch table. It still surprised me how comfortable they were around us. Angela seemed a little frazzled today which was unusual for her. Angela was normally the calm, put together person. She had one of the purest hearts I had come across. I picked immediately what had her worried. She was stressing about getting her announcements finished.

"Have you sent all your announcements yet?" Angela asked as we sat down.

Alice quick as ever answered.

"I'm already done."

"You are so lucky that you are finished. My mom has around a thousand cousins and she expects me to handwrite every single one."

I can help if you want." Bella offered.

I smiled at her; this was something that fulfilled Charlie's conditions without having to see the wolves.

"That's really nice of you; I'll come over anytime you want."

"Actually I would rather go to your place if that's ok. I'm sick of mine. Charlie ungrounded me last night." Bella announced excitedly.

To be honest I was just as relieved as Bella was at her finally being ungrounded. I had been stuck at her house too. Not that I wanted to be anywhere without her but it would be nice to be able to go somewhere different. Alice's thoughts suddenly caught my attention. They were virtually screaming at me. I caught visions of her taking Bella to Europe and she also pictured taking Bella on an African safari. I chuckled under my breath.

"Really, I thought you were in for life." Angela said.

I could tell she was excited for Bella too.

"I'm more surprised than you are. I was sure that I would have at least finished high school before he set me free."

"Well this is great Bella, we will have to go out and celebrate."

"You have no idea how good that sounds."

"What should we do?" Alice chirped.

I rolled my eyes. I knew what her plans were. Somehow I didn't think that Charlie would go along with them.

"Whoa Alice, I can guess what you're thinking and I doubt that I'm that free. " Bella said amused.

"Free is free right?" Alice insisted.

"I still have boundaries, like the continental US." Bella said.

Everyone laughed but Alice was grumbling silently. I had never known her to give up easily though.

"So what are we doing tonight?" Alice pressed.

"Look nothing; let's just wait a couple of days to make sure that Charlie really means it."

Alice shrugged.

"Ok this weekend we will celebrate then."

"Sure." Bella agreed.

They all started discussing different ways that Bella could celebrate her new found freedom. I noticed that Bella looked a little sad though. Her earlier enthusiasm had died a little. I wondered if she was thinking about our conversation yesterday. Her wanting to see the wolves, well one annoying wolf in particular and me saying to her that they were too unpredictable. The next moment I went rigid in my seat as I watched the same vision that Alice was seeing. I was transported with her away from the lunch table. All the conversation died out as I saw her fiery red hair and her crimson eyes. Victoria was back in Forks looking for Bella. There was no way that she would get anywhere near Bella. I would get Bella as far away from here as possible. Alice couldn't see anything happening to Bella but I wasn't taking any chances.

"Alice are you ok?" Angela asked waving her hands in front of Alice's face.

Bella was even bought out of her reverie at Angela's words. She looked at both of questioningly. I would keep her out of this.

"Daydreaming again Alice?" I said trying to make a joke out of it. I kicked Alice under the table, gently of course even though Alice was just as tough as the rest of us.

"Sorry I guess I'm just a little tired." Alice mumbled.

I knew that Bella would be anxious to ask about Alice's episode as it had definitely not escaped her notice. I would try figure out a way to distract her and to try make sure that we weren't alone so that there was no way that she could ask me. I was very tense the rest of the day at school. I was anxious to go and look for Victoria myself but Alice had told me that her, Jasper and Emmett would go out and confront her. I really wanted to go with them though. I would maybe go later while I waited for Charlie to go to sleep. I also knew soon I would have to be alone which would usually never bother me but what I would give to end Victoria's life myself.

I pretended to be interested in Mike's car troubles as we walked to the parking lot after school. After Mike refused my help and drove off in his Mom's car, Bella turned to me with wide eyes.

"What was that all about?" Bella asked incredulously. I could see suspicion written all over her face.

She knew that my tolerance for her admirer Mike wasn't high at all.

"I'm just being helpful." I said innocently.

"You aren't that good of a mechanic Edward. You should ask Rosalie in case he does decide to accept your help" Alice murmured.

The rest of ride was silent except for Alice's thoughts as she searched the immediate future. I had her watching out for Victoria and the Volturi. I was relying heavily on her visions of the future to help me keep Bella safe. I arrived at our house to drop Alice of_f._

_We've got this Edward. Are you going to tell Bella? Oh and you still owe me a yellow Porsche._

I shook my head and then watched Alice run inside to inform the rest of the family.

"See you later." I added casually. I wanted to seem at ease to stop Bella from worrying.

Bella still seemed a little tense as we drove to her house. I knew there was one sure fire way to distract her. I would wait for my moment. I stopped the car and turned to her.

"Light homework load today." I said

"Yes." Bella agreed but she seemed a million miles away.

"I wonder if I'm allowed inside."

"Well Charlie was fine with you picking me up this morning."

Bella went straight upstairs and stowed her bag. I lounged on the bed as I watched her turn the computer on. Bella snapped her fingers impatiently, waiting for the computer to wheeze awake. I really wanted to get her a laptop. I would see if I could convince her to let me get her one. I put my hand on hers to stop them.

"You seem a little impatient today." I mused.

My face was inches from hers. I could see Bella was about to say something but I didn't give her a chance as I kissed her. Her lips were soft and warm against mine. I got a bit carried away as my hands pulled her even closer to me. Bella put her hands around my neck and I slid a hand down on her back and pressed her against my chest. I felt Bella shiver then and I started to pull away. Bella held on to me though and tried with all her strength to keep us locked together. I broke her hold easily.

"Ah Bella." I said smiling. Her face was flushed.

"I should say sorry but the truth is I'm really not."

"I suppose I should feel sorry that you aren't but I don't. I think I should sit on the bed."

"If you really think that's necessary."

I smiled and made my way back to the bed.

"Tell Renee I said hello."

"Sure thing."

I noticed something rather odd; it looked like the car stereo that Rose, Jazz and Emmett had given Bella for her disastrous birthday last year. Bella finished off her email to Renee and switched off the computer.

I narrowed my eyes.

"What did you do to this?" I asked horrified.

Thinking of the gifts my family had given her last year; I had come up with a plan. I hoped it would work.

Bella looked at me sheepishly.

"It wouldn't come out of the dashboard."

"So you decided to torture it."

"Well you know how I am with tools. No pain was inflicted intentionally." She said defensively.

"You killed it." I said teasing her.

"Oh well"

"I'm going to have to replace it." I told her.

Rosalie wouldn't be happy at all if she saw what Bella had done to her car radio. I would rather avoid one of her tantrums.

"Why I don't need a fancy radio anyway." Bella protested.

"Believe me it's not for your sake that I'm going to replace it. You really didn't get much use out of your birthday presents last year." I said feeling upset at the thought as I had really wanted that to be a lovely birthday for her. Bella stayed silent.

I picked up the envelope with the tickets to Florida. Carlisle and Esme had given Bella two tickets, one for her and one for me. This would be the perfect chance to get her out of Forks.

"Do you realise these are about to expire?" I asked holding out the tickets for her.

"No I hadn't thought of them actually."

I kept my expression casual

"Well there is still a little time; we could go maybe this...weekend. You refused to go to prom with me, so let's celebrate your freedom this way." I grinned at her.

"By going to Florida." Bella gasped.

"Why not, you said that the continental US would be allowable."

"Charlie would never allow it."

She actually had me there, as he would freak out once he knew that I was going with.

I pulled myself together quickly.

"Charlie can't keep you from seeing your mother."

"Not this weekend." Bella sighed.

"Why not?"

"I don't want to fight with Charlie so soon after he has forgiven me."

"I think this weekend will be perfect." I muttered.

Bella shook her head

"Another time."

"You do realise that I've been trapped in this house with you."

"Well you can go anywhere you want." Bella challenged.

"The outside world without you holds no interest for me."

"Can't we just take the outside world slowly for now, like maybe Port Angeles?" Bella asked.

I groaned

"Never mind, we will talk about it later."

"There is nothing left to talk about Edward."

I shrugged as there was no way I would have Bella anywhere near here while Victoria was in the area. One way or another I would make sure Bella was safe.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N:**

**Hey everyone I will continue with this story.**

**Thanks so much for the reviews that I got for the last chapter, I really appreciate it.**

**Here is chap 16.**

**Please let me know what you think**

**Thanks**

* * *

"Ok new subject." Bella said narrowing her eyes "What happened with Alice at lunch today?"

My Bella didn't miss a thing but I wouldn't have her being scared by the vision that Alice had seen.

"She saw Jasper in a strange place and it has her feeling a little worried. He has no conscious intentions of going anywhere." I lied smoothly.

"Oh" Bella said confused "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I had no idea that you noticed."

I hated lying to her but if it was for her own good then I had to do it.

Later when Charlie was home and he had finished his dinner, I decided to broach the subject of the trip to Florida.

"Charlie did you know that my parents bought Bella plane tickets to Florida for her last birthday so that she could see Renee."

Bella dropped the plate she was busy washing. It fell on floor without breaking and splashed us all with soapy water.

"Bella" Charlie said feeling stunned.

"Yeah they did." Bella muttered.

'No I didn't know that at all." Charlie said, turning back to look at me. "Is there a reason that you bought it up!"

"Well they are about to expire, it might hurt Esme's feelings if Bella doesn't use her gift not that she would say anything though."

Bella glared at me, silently asking me what the hell I was doing.

"It's probably a good idea for you to visit your mom Bella. I'm just surprised that you didn't say anything about this though."

"I forgot." Bella mumbled.

"You forgot that someone gave you plane tickets."

"Mmm, yes."

"I noticed that you said they're about to expire. How many did your parents buy?"

Ok this was going to be the hard part.

"Just one for her and… one for me."

I was a vampire who was standing scared of a human, oh the irony.

"That is out of the question." He thundered.

_I will not have her staying under the same roof as him. Who knows what they will get up to? I'm too young to be a grandpa._

"Why?" I asked even though I knew the answer from his silent thoughts." You just said that it was a good idea."

"You are not going anywhere with him young lady." H shouted jabbing a finger at Bella.

"Dad I'm not a child and I'm not grounded anymore, remember."

"Oh yes you are, staring right now."

"For what?"

"Because I said so."

"Need I remind you that I'm a legal adult Charlie?"

My beautiful Bella, the kitten trying to be a tiger.

"This is my house and you will follow my rules."

"If that's the way you want it. Do you want me to move out tonight? Or can I have a few days to pack?"

I had never seen Charlie so angry before.

"Look Dad I will do my time without complaining when I have done something wrong but I'm not going to put up with your prejudices."

Charlie was incoherent and he didn't answer Bella. He was worried about our relationship going to a physical level.

"You know I have every right to see mom and you wouldn't object if I took Alice or Angela."

"They're girls." Charlie grunted.

"And If I took Jacob."

My fist clenched at the sound of his name.

"Yes it would bother me." Charlie answered in an unconvincing voice.

"You are a rotten liar Dad."

"Bella…"

"Dad I'm not headed to Vegas to be a showgirl or anything. I'm going to see Mom."

"I'm really not happy about this."

"There is no reason for you to be upset. Now I've done my home work, your dinner and the dishes are finished and now I'm going out."

"Where are you going?"

I was wondering the same thing.

"I'm not sure but I will stay near by okay."

Charlie stalked out the room in a huff.

"We are going out?" I asked innocently. I smiled widely at her.

Bella glowered at me.

"Yes I would like to speak to you alone."

We walked out to the car. Bella turned on me as soon as were safely inside, away from Charlie.

"What was that?"

"I know you want to see your mother Bella. You've been talking about her in your sleep, worrying actually."

"I have?"

"Yes and clearly you were too much of a coward to deal with Charlie so I interceded on your behalf."

"You threw me to the sharks."

"You weren't in any danger." I said rolling my eyes.

"I told you that I didn't want to fight with Charlie."

"Nobody said that you had to."

"I can't help it if he gets all bossy like that then my natural teenage instincts overpower me."

"Well that's not my fault." I chuckled.

"Does this weekend have anything to do with the fact that there is party at Billy's this weekend?"

I stiffened.

"Nothing at all. Besides it wouldn't make a difference if you were here or on the other side of the world. You still would not be going."

Bella ground her teeth together and I could see that she was upset.

"So what would you like to do tonight?" I asked gently.

"Can we go to your house as I haven't seen Esme in so long?"

"Sure Esme will love that, especially when we tell her what we are doing this weekend."

Bella groaned in defeat.

One thing about my family and myself was that we were really good actors. That night with Bella there, there were no signs of stress on any of our faces. Victoria was closer to Forks that I was comfortable with and I was determined to keep her far away from Bella. As I dropped Bella off at home I caught Charlie's thoughts and had to stop myself from bursting out with laughter. He was going to give her the sex talk. If only he knew who she was truly dating and there was no way we could.

"It's probably better if you don't come in right now."

"He is fine, his thoughts are relatively calm. I will see you later." I told her trying to hold back a smile.

"Am I missing the joke?" Bella asked me.

"No, I will see you later." I said giving her a quick kiss.

I raced home so that I could go out and help look for Victoria. I wanted to destroy her with my own hands for even thinking of hurting Bella. All of them were waiting for me when I arrived.

_You are overreacting just a little, you realize that right._

"I don't care; I will not have Bella in any danger." I said glaring at Alice.

_Of course none of us want that but you don't have to fly her to Florida. Don't you have faith in us at all?_

"Of course I do, I'm just being cautious."

Alice rolled her eyes.

_You ready to hunt the redhead bro?_

I glanced at Emmett. He was smiling widely. He loved fights.

I nodded and then off we went.

There was no sign of her to my utter frustration. We went up towards the wolves land but still there was nothing.

We will get her don't worry Edward, we will get her.

I was about to answer her when all of a sudden Alice came to a complete stop

"What is it Alice?" I asked desperately.

"Bella's future has disappeared. She must be going to see the wolves."

I was already running, the night air whipping past me. I had never met anyone as stubborn as Bella. I was trying to keep her safe and yet she was still going to sneak off. I made it to her Chevy in no time. I disconnected the cable for the starter motor so that the truck wouldn't be able to start. I waited in the truck. A few minutes later Bella came out and slid into her truck and I glared at her. She tried the ignition but the truck remained silent.

"Gah" Bella choked when she became aware that I was there.

"Alice saw your future disappear. She can't see the wolves and when you are with them there is no way I can know if you are safe. Naturally that worries me. It is some natural defense that they are born with. When you mingle your fate with theirs, you disappear too and it makes me a little anxious I will fix your car before you go to school in case you want to drive yourself. You can shut the window too if you would rather I didn't come back later."

Bella remained stonily silent and got out the truck without even looking at me. She slammed the door and went back inside. I sighed sadly as if it kept her safe then it was worth it. I listened as Bella shut the window in her room and then opened it again. Maybe she wasn't as angry with me as I thought. I left the car taking the cable with me.

The heat in Florida was actually a welcome change from the rain of Forks. I just wished that I could go outside and enjoy it. I made an excuse that I had a paper that I had to finish. I found Bella's mom Renee's mind quite amusing. It was childlike in a way. She did see through things though and I was worried for a moment that she would figure out what I was. I was keeping in contact with Alice to find out what was happening with Victoria.

Late Saturday night I got a call from her telling me that Victoria had come close to Forks again and that they had chased her all the way up to the Quileute border. The wolves had gotten territorial but luckily Carlisle had managed to calm down everyone. However in the wake of the almost fight, she had slipped away from all of them. I groaned in defeat. How did she keep eluding capture like this?

As I drove Bella back home after our weekend away I noticed that she was very quiet.

"Are you alright? Did the plane make you sick? You are very quiet." I mused.

"No I'm fine."

"Were you sad to leave?"

"No more relieved than sad I think."

I looked at her confused. How I wished that I could hear what was on her mind.

"Renee is really perceptive; it made me a little jumpy."

"Yes your mom has a very interesting mind, very insightful." I agreed.

Bella was lost in her own thoughts as I pulled up outside Charlie's

I stroked her cheek gently.

"We're here sleeping beauty, time to awake." I murmured.

Charlie was waiting for us. It seemed that Jacob had been trying to call Bella all day. I wondered what suddenly made him want to speak to her so badly.

"How bad is it?" Bella asked me.

"Charlie won't be difficult, he missed you."

Bella's eyes narrowed.

"Welcome back Kiddo." Charlie said pulling her into a hug.

"Impressive." Bella whispered in his ear.

"The food sucks when you aren't around." He grinned and then turned towards me

"Did you have a nice time?"

"Yes Renee was very hospitable."

"Good I'm glad."

"Ok I will get right on with the cooking." Bella said heading towards the kitchen.

"Will you please call Jacob first as he has been bugging me the whole day to talk to you. I told him that I will get you to call him before you have even unpacked."

"Jacob wanted to talk to me," Bella gasped in shock.

The shrill ringing of the phone interrupted Charlie's answer.

"I bet you that's him again."

Bella rushed into the kitchen and I followed. He had an angry tone to his voice. He was lucky that he wasn't anywhere near me. The conversation was short and I could see that Bella was trying to figure what was going on with Jacob.

"That was short." Bella muttered.

"Is everything alright?" I asked keeping my face smooth.

"I don't know; that was weird." Bella mused.

The dog was getting on my nerves.


	17. Authors Note:

Hi there

So I know I haven't written a new chapter with this story in a long time.

So if there is anybody who would like for me to continue, I will. Just reply to this Authors note and let me know.

I stopped as I wasn't getting much reviews and I thought maybe people weren't enjoying it anymore lol.


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